


Wedding Date

by LibrarySocks



Series: Wedding Date [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Background Mari/Minako - Freeform, Cannon Divergence, Fake Relationship, M/M, No Beta, not plot relevant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 37,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibrarySocks/pseuds/LibrarySocks
Summary: Yuuri gets roped into being Victor's date when he's lied to all his friends about having a boyfriend. Could it develop into something real, or will Victor's fear of commitment ruin everything?
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Series: Wedding Date [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2032189
Comments: 116
Kudos: 289





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my loves! Sorry I've been gone so long, things are uh, not great, here in the US. I'm doing NaNo again this year where I try to publish _something_ everyday of the month, even if it's just a small chapter. (Which is why this chapter is so small!) Spoiler alert - they all might be small! I have a plot outline for this one, though, so I can almost guarantee it will be finished, ya know, eventually. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and for letting me play in this sandbox with me. You're all amazing!

There’s a faint smell of sweat in the air but it’s quiet. Yuuri’s shoes squeak against the brand new flooring, and he jumps a little. He’s spent his whole life in empty rinks and studios, he doesn’t know why this state of the art locker room is getting to him so much. Maybe it’s because it’s so sparkly, Yuuri thinks, it’s unnatural. Yuuri whisper calls out Phichit, and then feels dumb for whispering. 

Where is he, anyway? He said that he’d forgotten something in the locker rooms and to meet him there, but it doesn’t look like anyone is here. He hopes he’s not about to get in trouble for being here, the place looks like it’s closed. 

A rustling sound comes from around the corner, near the showers, and Yuuri freezes. 

“Phichit? Is that you?”

He’s embarrassed to hear his voice quiver a bit. There’s more rustling, but no response. Annoyed, Yuuri pulls his phone out of his pockets to call him, only to see that he gets no bars here. The locker rooms are underground, he reasons. It’s not like someone has blocked the signal to murder poor unsuspecting ice skaters who don’t know when it’s time to go home at night. Ha. Right? Maybe he should tell Phichit no more slasher films for awhile. 

Steeling his resolve, Yuuri throws back his shoulders and marches around the bank of lockers. He only sees a flash of white before he’s got an armful of twerking man in a towel, who shrieks as though Yuuri is trying to murder him.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Victor carefully towel dries his damp hair, wishing he’d had the foresight to bring his hair care products with him in his gym bag. Of course, there was no way to know that Chris would camp outside his hotel room, waiting to rub his big fat lies in his face. So a quick shower in the empty locker room with just the basics will have to do. Popping in his airpods, Victor works through his skin routine quickly, wondering when his face started to look so old. 

Once everything is properly moisturized and sparkling, as it should, Victor heads over to his bag to change out of his towel into his workout gear. Maybe Chris will be gone by the time he gets back, he reasons, it’s not like he’d waste the whole night just waiting for Victor. Except, yes, he might, because he’s petty like that. 

Victor swears he hears someone yell, but when he pops an earbud out, he’s met with silence. He’s not one to spook easily, but the giant empty space seems to be getting to him. Turning his music back on, loud, he continues to dig out an outfit. 

So it’s with no small amount of surprise that he finds himself, towel and all, in the arms of gorgeous Japanese skater, Katuski Yuuri.


	2. Chapter 2

“AHHHH!” The blur screams shrilly at Yuuri as he tries to keep from toppling over. 

Yuuri shoves the man away, perhaps more forcefully than necessary, and almost trips over a bench as he backs up. After the initial shock wears off, Yuuri recognizes Victor, Russia’s gift to figure skating. And then he notices that all Victor is currently wearing… is a towel. 

“Ah!” Yuuri shouts back at Victor, throwing his hands up to cover his eyes and knocking his glasses askew.

Which is, of course, ridiculous. He’s seen countless people in states of undress, both at home at his parent’s onsen, and in the locker rooms when he’s competing. It feels different, though, somehow, to be completely dressed while the other man is so… not. 

“You scared me!” Victor pants out, a hand held dramatically over his heart, “why’d you sneak up on me like that!”

“I didn’t!” Yuuri protests, fixing his glasses but pointedly not looking at Victor, “I was supposed to meet a friend here! I didn’t know you were in here!” 

Yuuri can hear the panic in his ramblings and feels even more embarrassed. 

“Yuuri?” 

Victor knows his name? Oh wait. No. Of course he does. He probably memorizes all of the competition… not the Yuuri considers himself Victor’s competition. 

“Uh, ya, sorry, I was looking for Phichit, I’ll just uh, I’m going to go up and see if I can’t get a signal and call him.” 

Yuuri backs away, as fast as he can, trying not to trip over his feet and embarrass himself further when all the lights go out at once and a ka-thunk noise comes from behind him. 

Dammit Phichit, if he screams in front of Victor again he’s never forgiving his best friend.

* * * * * 

The lights go out suddenly, plunging the room into darkness, before the little red safety lights kick on. 

Katsuki Yuuri is here, with him, in what appears to be a haunted locker room. He’s frozen at the end of the bank of the lockers, staring wide eyed at Victor as if he could someone turn the lights back on with just the power of his mind. Unfortunately, Victor has only been graced with supernatural grace and not telekinesis. 

“What just happened?” Yuuri asks, looking a bit frightened. 

Oh but that adorable accent, it brings Victor back. 

“Power outage?” Victor guesses. 

“Right. Okay.” 

Victor pulls his phone out of his gym bag and shines the flashlight inside to find his top. Yuuri follows suit, pulling out his phone, and makes to leave. 

Victor is torn. Should he call out? Should he offer to walk Yuuri to his room? Or to the lobby, at least? Would that be too forward? Desperate? What if he asks Yuuri to wait for him to get dressed, feigning fear of the empty, dark room? 

By the time he’s run through the scenarios in his head, though, Yuuri has turned the corner. Quickly Victor dresses, thinking he can catch up with the younger skater if he hurries. He didn’t need to worry, though, because he finds Yuuri standing at the door, his face looking adorably confused. 

“Thanks for waiting,” Victor says brightly. 

“The door won’t open.”

“What?”

“The door, it’s locked.” 

Victor reaches past Yuuri to try the door himself. 

“Do you think they closed the building?” 

Yuuri tries to pull the door open again. 

“Hello!” Victor shouts, making Yuuri jump a bit. “Is there anyone out there? We’re still in here!” 

Yuuri takes his lead and pounds on the door, hoping that whoever locked the doors is still nearby. 

“Do you have a signal?” 

Victor frowns before pulling his phone out of his bag. 

“No.” He walks around with his phone held in the air, looking for one. 

“Do you think we’ll be locked in here until morning?”

“I’m sure there’s a cleaning crew or something. Besides, someone is bound to notice we’re missing and come looking for us.” 

“Right.” 

Victor shrugs, and sits on one of the benches. 

“Won’t your friend know you’re here?”

“Yeah, of course. You’re right, Phichit will remember he asked me to meet him here and come find us.” 

An awkward silence envelops the room as Yuuri continues to try the door a few more times, like it’s going to unlock itself any second. 

“So… what shall we talk about?”


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuri feels more than a bit panicked as Victor smiles up at him from the bench. Should he sit? Is it better to sit next to him, or across from him? Is it weird if he keeps standing? 

“Why are you here so late,” Yuuri ventures, anything to break up the silence. 

“Oh! It’s kind of embarrassing.” 

Yuuri doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just nods. Victor looks at him expectantly, and Yuuri wonders if this is one of those social conventions he’s always missing the cues for. He decides to sit on the bench opposite Victor. 

“Uh.. ok.” 

“I mean, I can tell you if you really want to know.” 

Right. So it’s embarrassing but Victor wants to talk about it.

“Sure?”

“You have to promise not to laugh at me, though!” 

“Ok.” 

“Yuuuuri, say it like you mean it!” 

Startled, Yuuri nods, “I won’t laugh!” 

Victor giggles, then looks around as if someone is lurking in the shadows to hear his embarrassing story. Yuuri wonders how he gets his hair to fall like that. Does he dye it, or is that the natural color? 

“Okay, so you know how skating keeps you really busy, and you don’t really have time to do things like, say, date?”

Yuuri nods slowly, wondering where this is going. He’s never really dated, but he doesn’t know if it’s because there isn’t time, or because no one has really been interested. 

“Right, I’m not crazy, we’re athletes, there isn’t time to start a relationship in the middle of a season, and who has the energy on the off season? Not me. Anyway. Here’s the embarrassing part, are you sure you’re not going to laugh at me?”

Victor’s tone is teasing, like they’ve been friends for years, and he’s waiting for Yuuri to catch the punchline to a shared in-joke. It’s unsettling, and also kind of wonderful. 

“Promise.” 

“Perfect. Okay. So… my best friend, Chris, you know him, right?”

“Mmm hmm.”

He can admit that much without looking like a stalker, right? Victor seems to think he already knows it, anyway. 

“Well he has time for a boyfriend and dating, and they’re constantly texting each other and calling each other, honestly, it’s disgusting.” 

Victor pauses again, as if maybe he doesn’t really want to share the embarrassing secret with Yuuri. Or perhaps to build tension. 

“He was pressuring me all the time to like, find someone, because I mean, I’m getting old, and he keeps saying I’ll regret not having dated once I retire and suddenly have way too much freetime.”   
Victor tells his story with his hands fluttering around him, and Yuuri tries not to get distracted. 

“...Uh huh…” 

It seems so weird that Victor doesn’t date. Yuuri just figured he was very discreet. 

“And he was making everyone at my rink gang up on me! Even Yakov said that I should schedule in more rest time, it was getting ridiculous! And I’m not proud of what I did, but it totally worked! They started to shut up about it!” 

Several moments tick by before Yuuri realizes Victor is waiting to be prompted again. 

“So, what did you do?”

“I made a fake boyfriend,” Victor says quickly. “I’m not proud of it!” He rushes to add, before Yuuri can say anything, hands thrown up as if to shield himself. “I just, you know, told a little lie. And it snowballed.”

Victor looks at Yuuri, like he’s holding his breath, before rushing forward with, “I might have said I was dating someone, and then I had to pretend to get texts from them, and not be available some nights so we could talk on the phone, and I made him up, and Chris kept implying he wasn’t real, which is very rude, he has no way of knowing I made him up, so I said I’d bring him to the banquet tomorrow! That shut him up!” 

“But you don’t have a date.”

“Exactly!” 

“But what does that have to do with being in the locker room so late?”

“Right, well I lied. And Chris knows it, so he’s waiting to rub my lie in my face!”

Yuuri still doesn’t quite see the connection, but he doesn’t want to seem rude by asking. So he just nods.

“I’m going to be the laughing stock of the banquet, I just know it, he’ll humiliate me in front of everyone, I’m considering just blowing the whole thing off, except Yakov might kill me.” 

“Why don’t you just get a date?”

“Well because then I’d have to explain to whoever about the whole lie, and pull them into it! Or I guess I could just make sure they avoid Chris all night.” 

Yuuri can practically see the wheels turning in his head. 

“I don’t think that would work. I mean, if he’s so sure you’re making it up, he’ll definitely want to meet whoever you bring.” 

“Ahh! You’re right. I’m screwed.” 

“Couldn’t you say you broke up?”

Victor’s face brightens, reminding Yuuri of when he’d tell Vichan it was time for a walk. He can’t believe he’s sitting here, trapped, with his idol, and forming full sentences. 

“I could! I could say that… he couldn’t make it to the banquet, and it was the nail on the head! Or… you know, whatever the phrase is, and so we broke up!”

Then Victor’s face seems to crumple in on itself.

“He’ll never believe me!” He wails, making Yuuri flinch back a bit. 

Yuuri wonders if Victor is always so dramatic. He seems so untouchable when he’s on the ice, it’s weird seeing him as a person. 

“I know!” Victor snaps his fingers, “why don’t you be my date! You know the whole story!” 

“Well, I uh, I mean,” Yuuri flounders. 

A date with Victor? Can he do that? It wouldn’t be a real date, he’d just, maybe, stand in for his fake boyfriend, it wouldn’t have to mean anything. But still. 

“Pleeeease! It would be perfect! And I’ll owe you forever! Please please pleaaaase?” 

He’s like one of Yuko’s toddlers! He even has the big baby eyes down pat. 

“I mean, I could? I guess? I was going to go anyway, with Phichit, so it wouldn’t be…”

“YAY!’ Victor cuts him off, “thank you thank you thank you!” 

Victor leans forward and grabs Yuuri’s phone off the bench beside him. He frowns down at it before pointing it at Yuuri’s face to unlock it, and Yuuri is sure he looks ridiculous gaping at the older man. 

Victor taps around on the phone, and his own phone starts ringing. Then he opens the camera app and takes a picture of himself, which comes out awful in the dim light, so he does another with flash, then pouts at that one, too. 

“I’ll send you a better picture later, you can use it as your phone screen!” 

Victor hops off his bench to come sit next to Yuuri, chattering away about all the things they’ve supposedly been doing as a couple. He tries very hard not to react to his nearness, but he keeps leaning in to show him things on his phone screen, or touching his leg when he says something he finds amusing. 

What has he gotten himself into?


	4. Chapter 4

“Yuuri! Where have you been!” Phichit shouts when Yuuri lets himself into their room. 

“The locker room,” Yuuri snaps back, kicking off his shoes. 

“Oh. Shit. I forgot. I’m sorry!! Wait, were you waiting there this whole time? Why didn’t you just call me?” 

“No signal.”

“Right, but you could have come out of the locker room to call me, Yuuri!” 

“I got locked in.”

Phichit gasps, jumping onto the bed closest to the door, sitting on his knees. 

“Oh no! How’d you get out!”

“Yakov came looking for Victor.” 

“Victor? You were locked in the locker room with Victor?! What happened? Are you okay? Did you perform a ritual sacrifice to force him in the same room as you?” 

“He wants to fake date me,” Yuuri says, throwing himself onto the bed next to his friend, ignoring his last comment. 

“Huh?”

“It’s a long story.” 

“Ok, well we have time, and this is way more interesting than anything happening in my life!” 

Yuuri groans, not wanting to recount the whole hour they’d spent talking, actually talking, Victor hadn’t let him get away with just nodding or agreeing, he’d forced him to participate. It was exhausting. And the touching! If he didn’t know any better he’d think Victor was making an actual move on him. 

“Yuuri!” Phichit shouts, picking up a pillow and hitting Yuuri over the head with it. “Tell me what happened,” he whines, “are you getting married and having babies?” 

“What?!” Yuuri sputters, shoving Phichit over. “No! He just, he told his friends he was seeing someone, when he really wasn’t, and he asked me to be his fake boyfriend for the weekend.”

“Eeee!” Phichit makes a high pitched noise before jumping off the bed, “we need to go **_shopping_**!” 

“Why? Why would we need to go shopping? Stop pulling on me!” 

“No! You need clothes for your first date with Victor!”

“It’s not a date! And I brought my suit!” 

“You are _not_ wearing that suit for your first date with Victor. Honestly, I should have done the world a favor and thrown it out when you weren’t looking ages ago. No. We are going to get you a proper outfit and you are going to tell me _everything_ he said and then tomorrow you are going to show him that you deserve an upgrade from fake boyfriend to real!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is small, but I've started tomorrows and it's bigger. Just trying to push through this week, thanks for reading! :) You are all amazing.


	5. Chapter 5

He’s running late. This isn’t unusual for him, but he knows Christophe is going to think it means that he’s still dodging him, and be all smug. Except of course, he’s going to show up with Yuuri on his arm and Chris will have to eat his words. 

There’s a soft knock on the door as he buttons up his dress shirt, and he realizes that Yuuri must be running late, too. Which is perfect! He can’t count the amount of times his date has been annoyed at his perpetual lateness, if Yuuri is the late sort, too, then that’s perfect! 

He throws the door open to greet Yuuri and lets out a soft “oof” at the man standing there. He’s half turned, as though he was about to leave, showcasing the tight fit of his suit. He turns, and smiles uncertainly up at him. 

“Do I look okay?” He asks, biting his lip and looking down at his ensemble. 

Victor nods, throat suddenly dry. 

“Phichit picked it out… I’m not sure,” he tugs at the bottom of the suit jacket, “I think it’s maybe too tight?” 

“I owe Phichit a drink,” Victor manages to croak out, before turning around to finish getting ready, leaving the door open for Yuuri to come in. 

“I thought maybe you’d changed your mind, are you sure you don’t want to just tell Chris the truth?” Yuuri calls out as Victor goes into the bathroom for a last hair check and to tuck in his dress shirt. 

“Please don’t abandon me, Yuuri!” Victor calls back, his tone pleading, “I promise to make it as painless as possible!” He adds with a purr. 

Yuuri makes a soft strangled noise from the bedroom and Victor smirks at himself in the mirror. He’s almost presentable, he thinks, shrugging on his suit coat. 

“Can you help me with my cufflinks?” 

Yuuri pads into the bathroom, having removed his shoes, which somehow makes him look younger and even more adorable. He takes the cufflinks from Victor, smiling at the tiny gold medals that Mila had gifted him. He thinks it was meant as a gag gift but he loves to wear them just the same. 

He concentrates as he puts them on, not looking Victor in the eye, but he must be feeling _some_ of the tension, Victor thinks. Could they blow off the banquet after all? He doesn’t think he’d mind Chris’ ribbing quite so much if he got to spend the night with Yuuri locked in his hotel room. 

On the other hand, he muses, he could go shut Chris up and then bring Yuuri back up to his room. A win win, really.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hotel bathrooms should be bigger, Yuuri decides, as he tries to keep his hands from shaking. And also, did Victor just _sniff_ him? No, right? Or does he smell? What if he does. What if he’s sweat his way through his suit already and Victor is about to offer up his cologne to help hide it. He wishes the floor would open up and swallow him whole. 

He gets the first cufflink on and takes Victor’s other arm trying to quietly take a deep breath to center himself. He swears Victor is leaning into him. 

“You all ready to make our debut, Yuuuuri?” Victor murmurs in his ear. 

He can feel his neck flushing, so he clears his throat, and takes a step back. 

“I’ll just get my shoes,” he says, stumbling on his way out. 

The ride down on the elevator is awkward. Victor pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts texting and Yuuri eyes him jealously. Phichit had made him leave his phone in the room because it would, quote “ruin the lines” of his suit. 

Victor grabs his hand as the doors open, tugging him towards the conference room turned banquet hall on the hotel's ground floor, and Yuuri hopes his hands aren’t sweaty. Noise filters out into the hallway and Victor turns to grin at him before they enter the room. Yuuri smiles back, hoping it looks confident and not like he’s going to throw up. 

Chris is right inside the door waiting to ambush Victor, and his jaw drops as he sees their linked hands. 

“No way,” he says, shaking his head back and forth. “Nope, nu uh, I don’t buy it!” 

Yuuri blanches, looking to Victor to see what he’s meant to do. Victor just grins at Chris, pulling Yururi closer to throw an arms around his shoulders. 

“Since last year?” Chris asks, scandalized. 

“Yup, and you thought I made him up.” 

“But you said you never even got his number.”

“I didn’t want to jinx it!”

“Why didn’t you just tell me!” 

Victor gestures wildly in a way that must make sense to Chris because he just laughs, clapping a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. 

“Man, I’m so glad you’re real. None of us thought Victor was ever going to settle down.”

“Uh,” Yuuri starts, not sure what to say. 

“Shows what you know,” Victor says, pulling Yuuri against his side. 

Yuuri grabs a glass of champagne from a circulating tray, gulping half of it down in one go. 

“Oh, are you going to dazzle us again tonight?”

Yuuri looks at Chris panicked, lowering the champagne to his side. 

“Leave him be,” Victor says, starting to steer him away. 

“Alright, well let me know if you want to have another dance off!” He shouts as Victor tugs him deeper into the crowd. 

Yuuri coughs, “what?” he says outloud, baffled. 

“Ignore him, here, let's get something to eat before we get mobbed.” 

Letting himself be pulled along, Yuuri sips from his champagne flute, scanning the room for Phichit. The press of bodies makes him feel uncomfortable, but the bubbly champagne helps dull the sensation. Victor rubs his thumb alongside their joined hands and Yuuri feels butterflies in his stomach, and flush on the back of his neck. 

“What do you think?” Victor asks, after stopping. 

“About what?” Yuuri asks dumbly, trying not to stare at their hands. 

“About food!” Victor responds brightly, gesturing to the table in front of them. 

“Oh, um, I’m not that hungry.” 

Victor nods then sets about making a plate, piling it with cheese and sweets and other fun goodies while Yuuri cranes his neck to search the crowd. 

“Here,” Victor says, and presents a small cube of cheese to him when he turns around. 

Yuuri stares at him, unsure what to do. 

“Try it!” 

Yuuri opens his mouth, feeling foolish, and Victor pops the cheese in. 

He watches him expectantly so Yuuri nods and Victor beams. 

“Yuuri?” A voice asks behind them. 

Victor tenses before turning to smile. 

“Victor! I didn’t know… this is who you’ve been seeing?” 

Yuuri bristles at the implication that it’s so outlandish that Victor would date _him_ but he smiles at the pale man anyhow. 

“Why didn’t you say! Yuuri, what you said last year about Anya was so helpful,” to Yuuri’s dismay the man begins to tear up, “it really helped me to move on.” 

Suddenly he’s being hugged by the other man, a skater on Victor’s team if he remembers correctly. 

“Georgi, let him go,” Victor laughs, pulling the red faced Yuuri out of his grasp. “Yuuri, you remember Georgi, and yes, sorry I’ve been keeping him all to myself, I didn’t want to share him with you,” Victor waves his hand to indicate the room as “you” and not Georgi himself. 

Yuuri does not remember Georgi, or talking to him about Anya, or why the man is crying, so he just smiles and hopes the panic doesn’t show. He grabs a new glass of champagne off a tray and tries to hide behind it as Victor and Georgi make small talk, Victor holding him tight against his side. 

The warmth of the champagne filters through him, making his knees feel warm and unsteady. Is this his second glass or third, he wonders? He knows he doesn’t do well with alcohol, but it’s very helpful in situations like this, making it easier for him to say what he’s thinking or not freeze up when someone talks to him. Like, right now he thinks he feels...

“Victor,” Yuuri tugs on Victor’s sleeve, “can we dance?”


	6. Chapter 6

Victor holds Yuuri close as they sway on the improvised dance floor. Chris winks at him from across the room, holding his phone up to snap a photo. Yuuri lays his head on his shoulder and Victor tries not to coo. He’s so cute, with his fluffy hair and glasses, making Victor want to whisk him away and hide him from the world. 

“Thanks for being my date,” Victor says, “I don’t know what kind of scene Chris would have made if I’d shown up alone.”

“He seems really nice,” Yuuri says, looking over his shoulder. 

“Are we talking about the same person?” Victor asks, laughing. “The same Chris got half naked with you last year at this very banquet?” 

“What, no he didn’t, what are you talking about,” Yuuri laughs, shaking his head. “Is this like the fake boyfriend thing? Do you have a really overactive imagination?”

This is the third time Yuuri has seemed confused about their meeting last year at this very banquet, and he’s starting to think that he was even drunker than Victor had assumed. Which is good news, if it means Yuuri didn’t purposefully blow him off. Or maybe it’s bad news, because how do you explain to your date that you already had a sort of first date and he doesn’t remember it. Is there a not creepy way to say that? 

“Oh, I love this song!” Yuuri cries as a new song starts with a faster tempo, seeming to forget his question. 

He twirls Victor around the dance floor with such grace he doesn’t have time to think about anything at all. It’s the most fun he’s had since, well, the last time they did this. After three songs Victor pulls Yuuri into a corner to catch his breath and try to get a word in over the rising din of conversation. He knows now, when all the sponsors are here mingling, that he should be out there showing his face. JJ is opposite them and he’s surrounded by people, hamming it up, and it makes Victor a little guilty. But not enough to leave this small space they’ve carved out together. 

“So, I have another favor to ask.” 

Yuuri cocks an eyebrow at him, and he doesn’t know why, but it makes him start laughing, and he can’t stop, and then Yuuri is laughing, too. It takes several minutes of setting each other off to calm down again. 

“Sorry, um, what was your favor?” 

Yuuri looks up at him from underneath his eyelashes, biting his bottom lip. 

“I forgot.”

“What?”

“I mean, um, sorry, I was wondering, tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow?” Yuuri prompts. 

“Right, tomorrow I promised I’d get lunch with Chris and his boyfriend and I was hoping maybe you could come, too?” 

Yuuri is staring at him and not saying anything, and Victor is getting a little nervous. Is he reading this wrong? Is Yuuri not having fun? Is he already coming off as too needy and clingy? Yuuri’s head snaps around as another circulating tray passes and he grabs another drink. Is that his second or third? Fourth? Is Yuuri drunk again? Should he make him do one of those roadside sobriety tests? 

“I could do that, if you wanted me to,” Yuuri says softly, barely audible over the noise in the room, playing with the stem of the glass but not drinking from it. “I mean, if you needed me to pretend for another day.” 

Crap. That’s true. Unless he comes clean to Chris it won’t be a cozy double date where Victor tries to get Chris’ approval of a new boyfriend, it’ll be playacting. It’s okay, he can do this, he can salvage this. 

“I can tell Chris you’re shy and don’t really want to talk about relationship stuff? I’d really just like to spend more time with you.” 

The expression on Yuuri’s face sends Victor into a tailspin, he looks so happy and hopeful and _perfect_ , Victor leans down and kisses him softly, questioningly. Yuuri gives a soft sigh when he pulls away, then something complicated crosses his face and takes a step back, a fake smile firmly in place. 

Victor is confused and thrown off balance for a moment before Chris wraps an arm around his shoulders. 

“I thought that was your two lovebirds, how’s it going? Victor, Yakov was looking for you.” 

“Can’t you cover for me,” Victor whines, shoving Chris off his shoulder. 

“I did! But he’s getting pissed now, even little Yuri is over there shaking hands and schmoozing.” 

Victor sighs, smiling an apology at Yuuri. 

“I have to go show my face, do you want to come with or?”

“No, I should find Phichit, I feel bad for abandoning him the whole night.” 

“Ok. But find me before you leave?” 

Yuuri nods, but his face still seems off. Victor is torn, he really wants to stay and figure out what’s wrong, but Chris is making impatient noises behind him. Finally he gives a little embarrassing wave and lets Chris pull him away.


	7. Chapter 7

Phichit is easier to find once he’s separate from Victor, people are no longer trying to get closer, catch Victor’s attention. He doesn’t know how he does it, it looks exhausting. Yuuri puts his still full glass of champagne down on a table, his buzz already wearing off, and he wonders if the light feeling in his chest had been less from alcohol and more to do with proximity to his idol. 

“Yuuri! Where’s Victor? Are you having fun? Have you convinced him to marry you yet?”

“Phichit, shh!” Yuuri hisses, checking to see if anyone heard him. 

Phichit just laughs, shaking his head at his paranoia. 

“Oooh, are you famous now? Are we worried about reporters?”

“PHICHIT!”

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop!” He doesn’t _look_ sorry, though. 

Yuuri shuffles his feet, trying to subtly look over at Victor without being obvious. He blushes in embarrassment as Victor catches him and waves, grinning brightly. 

“Oooh, it looks like love!” Phichit squeals, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“He kissed me,” Yuuri mumbles, staring at his feet. 

“What?” 

Yuuri shakes his head, not wanting to repeat it here, with all these people around. 

“Yuuri, what did you say?” Phichit grabs his shoulders and shakes him. 

Leaning over, he whispers, “he kissed me.” 

“I knew it! I knew it!” Phichit crows, doing an impromptu dance. 

“Wait! It’s not what you think! Or. I don’t know!”

“Okay, I need all the details, hold on, let me just,” Phichit’s fingers are a blur as he types a message out on his phone, “lets duck out for a few minutes.” 

Yuuri tries to figure out exactly how to phrase what he wants to say as Phichit leads out of the banquet room and through the hallways to the lobby. 

So when they stop he just blurts out, “I don’t know if Victor likes me or if he’s just really competitive and can’t let Chris win.”

“Oooookay. That isn’t what I thought you were going to say, but okay, lets start there… I guess? Why wouldn’t Victor like you? How does Chris figure into this whole kiss thing?” 

“He kissed me, and I thought it was because we were, I don’t, connecting, maybe? But then I realized that Chris was watching and I think that maybe it was all staged just to make the whole thing more believable.”

“Yuuri, come on, you’re a hot piece of ass, I’m sure Victor kissed you because he wanted to and not for some stupid contest or whatever.” 

Yuuri blushes and rolls his eyes. 

“Look, what happened before the kiss? Was it out of nowhere? Was it directly after proclaiming his undying love? Or perhaps he said, Chris is looking, and then kissed you?”

“He’d just asked me to go to lunch with him and Chris and Chris’ boyfriend. And I said I could be his fake date for another day, if he needed, and he said that he just wanted to spend time with me.”

He knows it’s stupid, but he can’t keep a small smile from escaping as he repeats it. Victor wants to spend time with him, **him**! 

“Well that sounds like he wanted to kiss you, Yuuri. Wait, lunch? Tomorrow? We don’t have time! I need more clothes! Ahh!” 

Phichit’s scream would be funny if he didn’t look like he was about to meltdown. 

“It’s just lunch, I can just wear what I brought.”

“No. No, no, no, you’re right. It’s lunch! We have all morning! Okay, I’m going to start looking at our options,” Phichit pulls out his phone and starts typing again, “and then, um, wait, yes, ok. So, tomorrow, I’ll just, I’ll set an alarm.” 

Phichit is scary when he’s on a mission, so Yuuri just stands quietly while he mumbles to himself. He remembers when the giant hamster tubes went on deep sale, and he wanted to buy enough to connect them all around their apartment, but he had to make sure he was in line and had enough people to buy them, because there was a limit of 5 per customer. He’d managed to round up enough people willing to camp outside of a Petsmart on a weeknight, but the store only had 20 of the tubes, total, in stock. So Yuuri knows better than to fight, he’ll be shopping in the morning with his best friend, whether he likes it or not.


	8. Chapter 8

Victor feels like he’s going to fall asleep in his coffee. Between the guilt of missing Yuuri leave the banquet, the stress of his unanswered text messages, and the excitement of seeing him again for lunch, he didn’t get much sleep. 

He checks his phone again and groans. He’d sent Yuuri a late night text apologizing that he’d gotten so busy with the reporters and sponsors that he hadn’t seen him leave. Then this morning he’d sent a sleepy selfie saying he was excited for lunch today. He’s being too eager again, he knows it. He’s always like this with a new relationship, never knowing where the line between affectionate and overbearing is. He knows he can’t text Yuuri again until he texts back without looking desperate, but dammit, he is! 

He wishes it were lunchtime already. Then he’d have an excuse to text Yuuri! They’d never discussed the time or place, whether they were meeting there or walking over together, nothing. Needing something to do, he calls down to the desk to ask if he can book the room for another night, just so he won’t have to carry all his stuff with him to his date. If it is a date. Is it a date if only one of them knows it's a date? He’d kissed Yuuri yesterday and made it clear that his motive wasn’t to fool Chris but to spend time together, so that made it a date. Right? 

To keep from screaming, after he secures the room for another night, which will no doubt piss off Yakov, he jumps in the shower. His phone dings as he’s shampooing his hair and he almost falls as he tries to jump out to get his phone, shampoo stinging his eyes. 

_Excited for today, too. Where am I meeting you?_

Victor clutches the phone to his chest in delight, then watches as it flies out of his wet, soapy hands onto the counter. He panics and grabs the hand towel on the sink to dry his hands and phone so he can reply back. 

_Excited, too, we’re meeting here unless you want to walk together?_

He drops a pin from the restaurant and stares at his phone, willing it to ding again. Several minutes of dripping on the bathroom floor and shivering as shampoo slides down his nose later, it does. 

_See you there! *happy dog emoji*_

Victor does a tiny victory dance and promptly falls on his ass.

* * * * * 

“I don’t know about this,” Yuuri whines, as Phichit runs more gel through his hair. “I look like I’m trying too hard.” 

“And that’s a bad thing?” 

“Isn’t it?”

“I think Victor will be _happy_ that you look like you made an effort. Wouldn’t you be happy if he showed up looking like he was trying too hard?” 

“That’s not possible,” Yuuri grumbles as Phichit comes around to face him, eyeing his handiwork. 

“What do you mean that’s not possible?” He has a little furrow between his brows as takes in the finished look. 

“I mean Victor can’t look like he’s trying too hard because he’s always perfect.” 

Phichit gasps, clasping his hands to his chest, before emitting a long, high pitched, “awwww!”. 

“Shut up, and give me back my glasses.”

“No.” 

“Yes! I can’t see!”

“Then put in your contacts!” 

“But they make my eyes itchy!” 

“Yuuri! I am trying to be your fairy godmother right now and you’re not helping!” 

Phichit slaps the contact case down on the counter next to Yuuri and storms away, before coming back and quickly snapping pictures of his best friend.


	9. Chapter 9

Chris is shooting him dirty looks as his knee bounces up and down under the table, but he can’t stop. Masumi just looks amused as he pretends to look through the menu. Victor pulls out his phone again, he told Yuuri 12:30 and it’s only 12:25, and wasn’t it just last night he was grateful that Yuuri seemed as punctuality challenged as him? Except now he just wants to see Yuuri right now, this very second. 

His friends had made him switch his seat so he couldn’t stare at the door and scare incoming customers, but that shows what they know, instead he cranes his neck around every other minute or so. 

“Holy shit,” Masumi whispers at 12:28 and Victor spins in his seat again. 

There’s Yuuri, and holy is shit is right. Gone are his fluffy hair and adorable glasses, replaced with slicked back hair and a confident look on his face. He’s wearing skinny jeans that might as well be painted on with a tight tshirt and jacket. The whole outfit hugs his lean form, begging you to stare. Victor restrains himself from launching himself at him, instead standing quickly to greet him with a hug. 

“Yuuri! You made it!” 

Chris clears his throat. 

“Right, Yuuri, you know Chris, and this is boyfriend Masumi, Masumi this is my boyfriend Yuuri!” Victor proclaims proudly. 

Yuuri smiles at the men and leans across the table to shake their hands before sitting in the chair next to Victor. Chris elbows his boyfriend for staring so hard. 

“Did you sleep okay? Sorry I texted so late.” 

“It’s okay, I liked the picture of the dog you sent earlier, not as cute as Makkachin though.”

“Obviously! I just knew you’d appreciate it! Chris here is sick of my dog photos, which is just sacrilege.” 

“More of a cat person, really,” Chris says, but he might as well be talking to a wall. 

Being with Yuuri is just like he remembered. They click so well, it’s like Yuuri understands him in a way no one else does, like they’re speaking their own language. They’re talking and giggling over the menus for several minutes before Yuuri gets a horrified look on his face and apologizes to Chris and Masumi for ignoring them. 

“It’s fine, we can’t take him anywhere without him being the center of attention, we’re used to it,” Chris says. 

Masumi snorts and rolls his eyes. 

“What does that mean?” 

“Like you’re ever willing to give up the spotlight. Please, you’re just as big of a drama queen as this one,” Masumi jerks his thumb in Victor’s direction, “but right now watching you two is more fun. I’ve never seen Victor this far into a relationship before and still be so engaged. Actually, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Victor this far in a relationship at all! You two have been dating a year?” 

“That’s not true,” Victor protests, “ignore them Yuuri, I’m very good at long term relationships.” 

This time it’s Chris’ turn to let out a loud “Ha!” and roll his eyes. 

“Yuuri, you must know that’s not true, I mean surely you’ve had the past relationships talk by now.” 

Next to him Yuuri freezes up, and Victor glares at his friend. 

“We haven’t, because it doesn’t matter, but if you wanted to tell me about your past lovers, _Yuuuuri_ , I’d listen.” 

“No, that’s okay,” Yuuri’s face is turning red again in that adorable way. 

“No? Well how about I tell you about mine? There was.”

“No!” Yuuri protests, throwing his hands up, “thank you, though.” 

“They’re so cute!” Masumi declares. 

Thankfully the waiter comes to the table before Yuuri can deny being cute or Victor can make an idiot of himself agreeing. Victor reaches under the table to hold his hand, and Yuuri lets him, as Chris launches into a story about his rinkmates. He has to let go when the food comes, but it’s okay because Yuuri lets him steal food off his plate and doesn’t complain once.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Yuuri’s not sure what he was so worried about this morning now that he’s here. Victor is charming and sweet and his friends make sure to include him in the conversation. At one point, Victor holds his hand, and Chris can’t even see it, so he’s pretty sure it’s not part of the fake boyfriend thing. 

He spends most of the meal psyching himself up to ask Victor to take a walk with him after. It was Phichit’s idea, if Victor wants to hang out with him where Chris can’t see it must be because he likes Yuuri, too. Yuuri isn’t sure he agrees with this logic, but he doesn’t have any other ideas. 

He only has a few hours before he has to leave for the airport anyway, so it’ll be a short outing. He’d practiced asking casually with Phichit (because Yuuri doesn’t really do casual) but now he’s forgotten the script. 

“What time is your flight?” Victor asks suddenly, when there’s a lull in conversation. 

“Oh, um, 6?” 

“But Yuuri!” Victor whines, “I wanted more time to spend with you!” 

“Isn’t your flight, ow!” Christophe yips, “I was _going_ to say, isn’t your flight after 6? So you’ll have plenty of time.” 

“Right!” Victor says, grinning brightly. “I’ll be right back!” 

“So Yuuri,” Chris says, leaning over the table. 

“Be nice,” Masumi warns.

Yuuri shuffles in his seat, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. 

“What? It’s my job as the best friend to give the shovel talk!” 

“Shovel talk?” Yuuri asks, confused.

“You know, if you hurt my best friend I’ll kill you and they’ll never find the body.” 

Yuuri stares at him for a moment and then breaks out in laughter. 

“What?” He gasps, “if I hurt him? Okay Chris. If I hurt Victor you can bury my body.” 

“Hey! I’ll have you know Victor is very delicate!” 

Yuuri laughs even harder, and Masume starts to snicker across from him. 

“Fine, fine, you’re right. Victor’s never been in a relationship long enough to be hurt, but you’re different, he’s been with you a year! I just don’t want him to get his heart broken.” 

This sobers Yuuri a bit. They haven’t been dating a year, he’s not even sure they’re dating right now. Keeping that in mind, he nods seriously. 

“I, Katuski Yuuri, promise not to break Victor’s heart, on pain of shovel.” 

Chris cracks a smile and nods. 

“Well now that that’s settled, what’s he like in bed?” 

Masumi smacks him in the back of the head and Chris apologizes, but cocks an eyebrow as if inviting Yuuri to answer anyhow. 

“Okay, bills paid, bye Chris, bye Masumi!” 

“What?! You’re just ditching us? But we want to hang out with Yuuri, too!” 

“Sorry Chris, he’s all mine now,” Victor pulls Yuuri up from his chair, “you can talk to him next time.” 

“I’ll send you my number!” Chris calls as Victor tugs him out the door. 

Yuuri waves back at the couple, trying not to trip on his feet. 

“Victor! Where are we going?” Yuuri laughs as Victor continues dragging him down the street. 

“We only have a few hours! We can’t waste it!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the original banquet was in Sochi, and the year after that, in canon it was in Barcelona so I guess that’s where we are? I wasn’t going to add a location at all, but then these dumbasses headed outside, so… I wrote this in bed an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off and then spent the morning looking for grammar mistakes and typos, sorry if I missed anything huge! Thanks for reading and being so kind! :)

Victor manages to get his flight changed to a red eye, which is going to suck, but it’s better than leaving earlier and missing out on time with Yuuri. And Yakov can’t _actually_ murder him, he reasons, just train him so hard he wishes he were dead. Worth it, he decided almost instantly, worth it for the extra hours to convince Yuuri he’s not some hack at relationships like Chris implied. 

Yuuri gasps as the dog park comes into view and Victor smiles back at him. He knew this was the perfect place to start! He misses Makkachin so much and this is the next best thing. 

“Look at all of them,” Yuuri breathes out and Victor beams. 

“Which one is your favorite?” 

“Oh no, they’re all perfect!” 

Victor hops up and down a bit on the balls of his feet before pulling Yuuri into his side, resting an arm across his shoulders. His heart skips a bit when Yuuri snuggles in closer instead of pulling away. 

They stand like that for a bit, oohing and aahing over the dogs before Victor starts to guide Yuuri away again. 

Next stop is a small food market. They snack on local fruits and nuts and Victor even hits a food stall for tiny craft burgers. Yuuri asks him if he’s always eating so Victor makes him eat one and he apologizes, because obviously this is the kind of food you make room for. 

Victor is constantly aware that they’re time is running out, trying to pack as much of the city in as he can while prodding Yuuri with questions about his life, skating, home, anything he can think of. Sometimes Yuuri is forthcoming, talking about his life with Phichit in Detroit and their training routines. Other times he feels closed off and reticent, not wanting to share details about his plans for the next season. Victor tries to remember not to talk too much about himself in these lulls, but Yuuri is such a good listener it’s hard. 

Finally, with less than an hour before Yuuri would need to leave for the airport, Victor suggests they head back to the hotel. 

“I have to grab my luggage and then we could go to the airport together?” 

“Sure. I think Phichit has my bag with him, so all I have to do is get on the plane.” 

“That’s perfect! You can help me wrangle mine!” 

Yuuri laughs but agrees. Victor wonders if he can just blow off the rest of his life altogether and follow Yuuri around and make him laugh.

* * * * * * * * * *

Everything is better with Victor next to him. The air is fresher, the sun is warmer, the dogs are cuter, they should bottle it and sell it on shelves. He’d go broke buying it, though. 

Victor is just as free today with his touches as he’d been yesterday. There’s hand holding and side hugs and once even a nose boop. How it didn’t come off as ridiculous he doesn’t know, but having his nose booped by Victor is definitely going in his highlight reel. If he ever has a near death experience he fully expects it to feature prominently in his life flashing before his eyes. 

He loses all track of time and suddenly it’s time to grab Victor’s bags and head to the airport. He feels selfish for wanting more time, when what he’s already been given is such a gift. He imagines he’ll spend months squeezing the memories of today for every last drop of joy. It isn’t until they're in the elevator, the same elevator they rode down yesterday to the banquet, that he realizes he’s about to be alone with Victor in a hotel room. 

They have less than an hour before they really should leave for the airport, but that’s still a lot of time, right? Yuuri doesn’t know. He’d had a small thing with a boy in training camp years ago, but they’d never gone far enough that they’d have ended up alone together in a hotel room. They way Chris and Masumi had talked about Victor, though, it sounds like he has _lots_ of experiences, with short term relationships at least. 

He squares his shoulders and decides that he’ll let Victor take the lead. If he makes a move he’ll just go with it. It can’t be hard, he reasons, if almost everyone does it. 

The ding of the elevator before the doors open pulls him out of his thoughts and he smiles at Victor who’s smirking at him. Oh no, are his thoughts all over his face again? Phichit always says he has two modes, resting bitch face and telegraph face, all or nothing. 

Victor toes off his shoes at the door so Yuuri follows suit, trying not to overthink it. Just because Victor isn’t grabbing his bags and heading for the door right away doesn’t mean he’s going to seduce him. Does he want to be seduced? He thinks so. 

“There are a lot of them,” Victor says, walking into the room. 

“What?” 

“Bags, I have a lot of bags,” Victor says, but his voice is laced with amusement. 

“Oh. I think I only had the one.” 

“One bag?! Is it a giant one? A person sized bag?”

“No?” 

“How do you live?!” 

Yuuri feels himself relax at Victor’s teasing, not having realized he’d been so tense. 

“Well, I don’t need thirty hair products, for starters.” 

“Yuuri! I’m offended! Just because my hair is perfect doesn’t mean it takes a whole bag of product. Maybe I’m just blessed with naturally amazing hair!” 

Victor is leaning on the ground doing a last minute check for left behind items when Yuuri pokes the small thinning spot on the top of his head. 

Victor instantly bursts into fake distress, or well, Yuuri assumes it’s fake because it’s so very over the top. Yuuri begins apologizing profusely as Victor collapses onto the ground, bemoaning his age, his thinning hair, that soon he’ll be dead or bald, and really, which is worse? 

Yuuri doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry when Victor pulls him down onto the floor with him as he keeps apologizing. Then Victor is kissing him and he’s not sure what to do with his hands and it’s possible his heart is going to explode right out of his chest. 

Victor. Nikiforov. Is kissing. Him. His brain is short circuiting and is it hot in here? He’s kneeling on the ground and it’s a little uncomfortable but then Victor is pulling him practically into his lap and that’s… that’s wow. He has to wrap his arms around his shoulders to steady himself, which seems to meet Victor’s approval, and then Victor is pulling back for a minute to ask if he’s okay, if this is okay, and Yuuri is nodding and leaning forward because he’d very much like to get back to the kissing please. 

Yuuri is thinking he could die happy with just this when Victor’s hand starts to play with the hem of his shirt and he forgets to breathe for a second. He’s not sure if he’s ready for Victor to see him, but on the other hand he really wants Victor to touch him. He’s saved from making a decision by a loud pounding on the door. Yuuri startles so hard he ends up half off Victor’s lap. 

“Victor! I know you’re in there!” Comes a rough voice from the hallway. 

Victor looks guilty and he attempts to untangle himself from Yuuri, and then panicks as the knocking comes again. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispers as he tries to stand and then giggles as they both end up falling onto the ground. “Maybe he’ll go away.”

“Victor!” The voice roars. 

“Or not.” 

Yuuri attempts to make himself presentable as Victor opens the door and starts speaking in rapid fire Russian. 

It quickly becomes clear that the angry man is Yakov, Victor’s coach, and that Victor has done something to piss him off. Victor’s voice is wheedling but Yakov doesn’t seem to be softening. The voices both stop as Yuuri’s phone dings, and Yuuri cringes. He really doesn’t want to be a part of whatever is happening out there. More Russian from Victor and then a grunt and stomping footsteps and Victor is coming back into the room. 

“Sorry, Yakov can get a little… testy, when I don’t answer my phone.” 

Yuuri nods, wondering what he’s supposed to do now. He wants to go back to the kissing, but the mood seems wrong, and also Phichit is freaking out because he’s not at the airport yet. 

“It’s okay, I have to go anyway,” Yuuri says, trying to make Victor feel better. 

“Ok! Yes! Let’s grab my bags and go!”


	11. Chapter 11

Victor has never considered himself a violent person, but right now he’s contemplating murder. He knows he technically did almost everything he could to piss Yakov off, but really, he couldn’t have waited until they were back in Russia to shout at him? Or ten more minutes? The timing, honestly, it’s like he planned it! 

Now Yuuri is sitting too far away in their cab and he doesn’t know how to say he’d like for this to be a not one time thing without scaring him off. They’re less than five minutes away, unless there’s a miracle car accident in front of them, he needs to do something! 

“Thanks for your help with my luggage.”

Ok. Something other than that. 

Yuuri nods at him before returning to staring out the window. Victor fights down the panic and slowly reaches over to take Yuuri’s hand. He watches out of the corner of his eye as Yuuri’s shoulders raise before he turns to stare at their hands. Victor fights off a smirk and rubs a thumb on the outside of Yuuri’s hand. 

Yuuri clears his throat but doesn’t say anything. After a moment he squeezes Victor’s hand and Victor fights the urge to fist pump his victory. Time to go in for the kill. 

“You know, I’m really sorry we got interrupted before.” 

Yuuri begins to stammer and turn red, looking back and forth between Victor and the driver. Victor has to turn so he can’t see him trying not to laugh. 

“Do you think you’ll need a cart for your luggage?” He finally gets out. 

“Oh, that’s a good idea!” 

So Yuuri is shy, he can work with that. He watches as Yuuri taps out a message on his phone, deliberately avoiding eye contact. 

“Who are you talking to?” Victor asks, leaning over. 

When Yuuri looks up he’s only a few inches from his face and he jerks his head back. Victor just smiles at him innocently. 

“Uh, Phichit… he wanted to know how far we are, he’s going to grab a cart.” 

“Oh that’s so nice, tell him I say thank you!” Victor coos directly into Yuuri’s ear, resting his cheek on his shoulder. 

Yuuri shifts underneath him but doesn’t push him away, which is an obvious win. Unfortunately they’re pulling up to the airport and he’s pretty sure Yuuri is going to flee out of his door, Victor be damned.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Victor seems determined to be in Yuuri’s space, which would be nice if they were alone, but they aren’t, and that makes Yuuri slightly uncomfortable. He doesn’t know why, it’s not like being graced with Victor’s attention is anything to be ashamed of, and he’s an adult, so he’s _allowed_ to touch men, whether he’s dating them or not. Maybe it’s the enclosed space, or the knowing that it can’t exactly go anywhere, but Yuuri would very much like to put a few feet of space between them. Or remove it entirely, but without an audience. 

The car slows as it nears the curb and Yuuri breathes a sigh of relief as Victor returns to his side of the car. Victor gets out and holds the door for Yuuri, who has to crawl across the seats to avoid stepping out into traffic through his door. Victor sets to work quickly, grabbing his luggage from the trunk, giving Yuuri plenty of space. It’s almost like the past few minutes didn’t happen at all. 

“Yuuri!” Phichit shouts, coming out of the doors with a large luggage cart. “I didn’t think you were going to make it!” 

“The flight doesn’t leave for over an hour,” Yuuri says, rolling his eyes. 

Phichit has two settings, too early, or too late, and either way, he’s a giant ball of energy. He needs to be at his gate with a snack before the plane is even hooked up to the gate, flipping through Insta, or he’s running through the airport screaming for them to hold the door. 

Victor has snuck up behind him while he calms his friend, and slings his arm around his shoulders. It’s becoming a *thing* with him. Phichit squeals and is taking pictures on his phone before Yuuri can blink. 

“Did you guys have a good day? How was lunch? Was Chris’ boyfriend nice?” 

Phichit is off, talking a mile a minute as Yuuri and Victor try to keep up, asking questions faster than either of them can answer them. 

Victor follows them to their gate, probably because his flight is later, and sits next to Yuuri on the uncomfortable plastic airport chairs. As soon as Yuuri is settled in Victor is throwing his arm around him again and holding a phone above them. 

“This okay?” He asks, while snapping away. 

Yuuri is positive he looks like an idiot in like, all of the pictures, but he just nods. Because honestly, if you’d told him a week ago that Victor Nikiforov was going to ask him to take a selfie with him he’d have laughed at them until he cried. 

Victor’s phone rings while he’s taking the pictures and he makes an honest to god gulping noise when Yakov’s number crosses his screen with a truly unflattering picture of the man. 

“I have to take this,” he says, sounding disappointed. 

“Okay,” Yuuri says, trying to communicate telepathically with Phichit from behind his back. 

Phichit widens his eyes and raises his eyebrows like, “are you fucking him?” 

And Yuuri cocks his head sarcastically to say “really Phichit, have you met me?”

And Phicit cocks one eyebrow and makes an unimpressed face as if to say “Yes, have _you_?”

So Yuuri rolls his eyes dramatically to say “shut up, you don’t know anything, you’re the only one who seems to think I’m worthy of banging Victor Nikiforov.” 

“What are you doing?” 

Yuuri and Phichit both jump guiltily as Victor looks between them, still on the phone. They both give him wide eyed innocent looks like they give Celestino when he catches them blowing off practice. 

Victor snorts and walks further away so they don’t have to hear Yakov shouting at him. He’s really loud, Yuuri wonders if he’s really that angry or if Russian just sounds angrier than Japanese no matter what you’re saying. 

Phichit hurries over and starts whispering questions. 

“Are you dating? Was lunch okay? I take it he agreed to the walk, that’s a good sign right? Who paid for lunch? Wait, don’t answer that, it doesn’t matter. When’s his flight? Have you guys made a plan to meet up later?”

“Phichit, stop,” Yuuri hisses, and smiles brightly as Victor walks back over. 

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, if you need to go I understand.”

“Yuuri! You wound me! Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“What? No! He just sounded really mad, I don’t want you to get in trouble. Besides, I have Phichit, so I won’t be alone, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

Victor’s smile dims a bit and Phichit elbows him. 

“Not that we don’t want you here! That’s not what I meant! I just don’t want you to get in trouble over me.”

“Oh Yuuri, you’re worth all the trouble in the world!” 

“That’s what I keep telling him!” 

Yuuri buries his head in his hands as the two men grin at each other over their mutual belief that he’s not trash. 

“We should get snacks!” Victor announces. 

“You’ve done nothing but eat all day!” 

“Are you calling me fat?”

“What? No!”

“Yuuri, you can’t just call Victor fat.”

“Yes Yuuri, that’s very mean.”

“Ahh! Okay! Snacks!” 

Introducing these two was a very bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really like Phichit. Idk.


	12. Chapter 12

The ice isn’t bringing him solace like it used it, not that it has in years. It feels worse these days, though. He wonders, not for the first time, if it isn’t time to hang up his skates in retirement. It would be a much more appealing prospect, admittedly, if there was someone beside him, someone to spend the bleak prospect of endless days stretching into forever with. Someone to travel with, to eat with, to grocery shop with and do laundry alongside. Someone to walk Makkachin with, who's no young pup herself.

Victor sighs, he’s being maudlin again. Mila skates past him and twirls around to face him, skating backwards. 

“Stop pouting, Victor, and call him.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, skating around her. 

Mila checks the boards to see if Yakov is watching then pulls out her phone. 

“This, I’m talking about this. Call hiiiiim.”

She shoves Phichit’s instagram in her face, where Victor and Yuuri smile in a picture from the airport two days ago, #CoupleGoals, it reads. 

“I don’t want to be needy.”

“But you **are** so I’m going to _need_ him to calm your old ass down.” 

“I’m not old!”

“Right. Call him! Or send him one of those ridiculous expensive gifts you love! Something! ” 

Mila pockets her phone and glides away, shooting him a judgemental look over her shoulder. 

It’s not that Victor doesn’t want to call Yuuri, he just thinks starting a relationship now, instead of say, the end of the season, is a bad idea. Long distance is hard enough without throwing gruelling training regimens into the mix. Besides, Yuuri could have called him! 

Or maybe that’s all an excuse because he’s not sure Yuuri wants to date him and he’s positive he can’t handle a rejection right now.

* * 

“Just text him!”

“No.” 

“Please? Look, I’ll do it for you!”

“Phichit! Give me back my phone!” 

“Your godchildren need you to get laid, Yuuri, do it for them.” 

“Stop! What are you doing? Give it back!” 

“I’m not texting him, chill out.”

Yuuri eyes his friend warily, but he never seems to be typing a message, just quick swipes, so he relaxes a bit. 

“If he wanted to talk to me, he could just text me,” Yuuri says sullenly, “we had a nice date, and now it’s back to reality.” 

“Let's take dating off the table. Do you want to be _friends_ with Victor?” 

“Yes?” 

“Why is it a question?! You’ve idolized him your entire life, and now you have a chance to get to know him! Texting him doesn’t have to be about getting in his pants, though we both know you want that, too.”

“Fine. Yes. I want Victor to be my friend.” 

“Well friends text each other, Yuuri!” 

Rolling his eyes, Yuuri makes another grab for his phone, but Phichit is too fast for him, dancing away. 

“Phichit, you know that even if I text Victor and he texts me back, I’m still leaving, right?” 

“Yes, Yuuri, I am aware that Victor is not in possession of a magical dick that will solve all of your problems. Or atleast, not if you won’t let him try.” 

“Phichit!” 

Phichit laughs and jumps onto the couch so Yuuri can’t look over his shoulder. He turns and takes a picture of Yuuri making a jumping grab and hoots in victory. 

“I’m going to go pack!” Yuuri shouts at him, sullenly. 

“Uh huh, see you in three minutes when you panic about me having your phone.”

* * * 

Victor groans as his phone dings again on his nightstand. He eyes the alarm clock with blurry eyes before groaning again. Who the hell is texting him at 1am?! Is it an emergency? If it isn’t an emergency, someone is going to pay for this. A third ding has him sitting up and slapping his sheets as he looks for his phone that he’d meant to put on the charger before going to sleep but obviously didn’t. 

**Ice Bitches**

**Chris**  
Why you leaving your man hanging like that?

**Masumi**  
Very cold, Victor!

**Mila**  
Victor, just text him. This is getting sad

Victor frowns at the group chat, wondering what they’re all talking about.

**Victor**  
I am TRYING to sleep, what are you talking about?!

**Mila**  
Aww, poor old man needs his beauty rest guys

**Masumi**  
Sorry! I always forget you’re ahead of us!

**Chris**  
Don’t apologize, he’s being a baby. Check your Insta

Victor rubs his eyes and opens his Instagram account. The assholes, his notifications are a mess, as usual, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be looking for. Well, Mila had mentioned Yuuri, so that’s a good place to start, he decides.

Yuuri’s most recent post has him tagged! It’s a picture of him and Phichit, Yuuri is behind Phichit jumping, it looks like for his phone, his face all blurry. The caption reads “Going to miss my bestie @ phichit+chu, I’ll sure be lonely @ v-nikiforov *sad emoji* *sad emoji* 

Well… that’s something. Where is Yuuri going? And why didn’t he just text? Why call him out on social media? It’s an obvious plea for company, though. Victor clicks over to Phichit’s page and is rewarded with a much nicer photo of Yuuri and Phichit together, cheek to cheek. This one reads “Going to miss @Katuski-Yuuri, have fun @YutopiaKatsuki. 

Bless Phichit for his digital breadcrumbs.

**Georgi**  
What are you guys talking about?


	13. Chapter 13

His bed feels smaller after years away. It’s still a sanctuary from the crowds of the train station and the chattering of Minako. His mother is downstairs making him food even though he told her he wasn’t hungry, so he knew his refuge would be short, but it was still nice to be home. 

Victor grins down at him from the posters on his wall, long silver hair glinting in the early evening light. Maybe he should text him. Just a quick “hey”, or something. Yuuri groans into his pillow, knowing he won’t. Hiding from Victor’s visage, Yuuri drops off into a fitful sleep.

* 

A loud bang startles Yuuri awake, he blinks blearily up at his sister, trying to figure out how long he’s been asleep.

“Get up, Yuuri, your boyfriend’s here.” 

“What?” 

There’s a pregnant pause, followed by, “you should probably take these down before he sees them. It’s a bit creepy.” 

“What?” Yuuri repeats, a bit more forcefully. 

A jangling comes from the hallway behind Mari and a poodle comes in from behind her, jumping up so her paws rest on the bed so she can lick his face. 

**”What?!”** Yuuri squeaks. 

“Yeaaaaah,” Mari drawls, “I’d get downstairs if I were you. He and mom decided to ‘let you rest’, but they’re freaking me out, so get up.” 

Mari watches him as he sprints around the room, grabbing his phone and trying to smooth down his hair and find his classes, and oh no, he really should take the posters down, but there isn’t **time**! All the while he’s trying not to fanboy over Makkachin, who is _in his room_ like he’s in some sort of self insert domestic fanfic, and figure out why the hell Victor is at his parent’s onsen. 

“Alright, you look fine, let's go,” Mari snaps, grabbing his arm and launching him into the hallway. 

Yuuri rubs his arm and tries not to panic, shutting the door after Makkachin comes out. 

“Let’s go find your daddy,” he whispers to her, and follows her as she trots down the stairs. 

Mari snorts, elbowing him out of the way to get in front of him. It’s almost like he never left, he thinks grumpily. 

Maybe he’s still asleep, he reasons, as he follows Makkachin and Mari into the kitchen. Victor is standing next to his mother, laughing, wearing a too small apron over a well fitted tshirt and jeans. Yuuri feels his mouth go dry, this has to be a dream, it has to, because Victor is much too beautiful to be standing there like he belongs, panko on his hands, chatting with his mother. 

“Yuuri!” Victor exclaims when he spots him, “did you have a good nap? Mama Katsuki was just showing me how to make a pork cutlet bowl!” 

“Mama… Katsuki?” Yuuri asks, now positive he’s not awake. 

“He’s delightful, Yuuri, why didn’t you tell us you were dating someone new?” 

“Someone new,” Yuuri parrots back. 

“He’s useless when he’s just woken up,” Mari says, grabbing for a piece of pork and having her mother slap her hand away, “go set the table,” she demands. 

Yuuri is glad for the reprieve, bowing out of the room backwards, watching his mother hand Victor a towel to wipe his hands on.

* * * * * * * * * * 

He has decided that he is being spontaneous, free spirited, spur of the moment and not, say, reckless, negligent, or thoughtless. No! He’s being romantic, and Yakov can shove it if he doesn’t like it. Or well, he can call Victor as many times as he likes and scream at his voicemail, because no way is Victor answering his calls.

He had a moment of panic when he first arrived, what if he’d read it all wrong, what if Yuuri didn’t want him here after all? But then a young woman who looked quite a bit like Yuuri had led him in and introduced him as Yuuri’s boyfriend and well, that solved that. 

Yuuri’s mom, who he quickly took to calling Mama Katsuki, after asking permission of course, was wonderful and welcoming. Victor made sure to turn the charm all the way up to eleven, because first impressions on parents are very important. Makkachin loved the little onsen and all the guests seemed to love her. Within moments she was getting pets from all sorts of people, the shameless hussy. 

Mama Katsuki has tons of cute Yuuri stories to tell, and promises to break out the baby pictures after dinner. Mari, Yuuri’s sister, just stares at him suspiciously. He’ll admit to a small amount of relief when she finally leaves.  
When Yuuri stumbles into the kitchen, sleep rumpled and out of it, Victor has to hold in his admiration for the adorable man. He wants to rush him off to cuddle somewhere, run his hands through his hair while they snuggle under a giant blanket. He decides to add it to his relationship bucket list, right after matching selfies posted to Instagram and coming up with pet names for each other. Normally he’d go with Yura for Yuuri, but well, he already has a little Yura in his life. This calls for more analysis. 

Dinner is fun, Yuuri blushes a lot and won’t meet his eyes, but Victor knows now that it just means he’s being shy. Mari still stares at him periodically, but the pretty woman next to her, Minako distracts her some of the time. 

“Oh! I just had a wonderful idea!” Mama Katsuki says towards the end of the meal, “Victor can be Yuuri’s date to your wedding!” 

Yuuri makes a choking noise and makes a grab for his glass. 

“Wedding?” He croaks out, looking around the table, “who’s wedding?” 

“You didn’t tell him yet?” 

“There wasn’t time! Minako brought him home and then he went straight to his room!” 

Mari and her mother begin bickering across the table, Minako gets up and comes back with a bottle of something that looks alcoholic and pours them all a glass. Yuuri slams his while looking back and forth between his relatives like it’s a tennis match. 

“Are you marrying the lovely Mari,” Victor asks, leaning across the table to talk to Minako. 

She smiles slyly and nods, throwing an arm around Mari and startling her. 

“Pozdravleniya, congratulations, when is the happy event?” 

“In a few months, April 10th.”

“Ah, to catch the cherry blossoms?”

“Exactly! You’re very well informed.” 

Yuuri is now looking between him and Minako with a panicked look on his face, before switching back to his sister and mother. 

“Solnyshko, stop, you’re going to get whiplash.” Victor reaches across the table to grab his chin and Yuuri flushes a beautiful bright red. 

The voices around them stop, not like they’re in their own little bubble but like everyone around them has stopped talking to stare at them. 

“Yuuri, why don’t you and Victor go and soak in the hot springs,” Mama Kastuki suggests. 

“Oooh, can we! I’ve never soaked in a hot spring before!” 

Victor jumps up and runs around the table to help Yuuri up. 

“Thank you for dinner, it was wonderful! Perfection!” 

Mama Katusuki titters and waves them on.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. Last year I did lots of reminders before every chapter reminding people that I’m not writing to win any awards, I don’t have a beta, I’m churning these chapters out and posting daily as a kind of personal goal and I 1000% support you not reading it if that’s not your thing. I didn’t do that this year because I thought it was annoying to you, the readers, last year, but I guess I need to add this disclaimer a few times throughout. I love love love writing for this fandom, and this ship specifically. I love the people in this fandom, I love interacting with you on fansites and being allowed to contribute, but this is basically a stream of consciousness story based on a plot I wrote loosely based on a book I read like a year and a half ago. 
> 
> I’m incredibly sorry that the Mari/Minako ship was upsetting, I didn’t tag it because all my plot outline said was “Mari is getting married, and didn’t tell Yuuri”, and so 2 days ago I googled “most popular Katsuki Mari ship” and here we are. If it bothers you guys that much I can totally change it, it’s not at all plot relevant, though it was super handy having it be Minako just because in canon she picks up Yuuri from the train station. That’s legit it. This is not my ship, I have no interest going down with it, if you want me to change it, throw out some suggestions, I’m flexible! She’s just gotta be getting married in April. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading, sorry if my sand castles aren’t to your liking but thanks for letting me play in the sandbox just the same.

His sister is getting married? His sister is getting married to Minako, and no one thought to tell him? Just because he left for a few years doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about things like this, how could they just keep him in the dark? If he hadn’t come home would he even be invited to the wedding? 

Yuuri is so preoccupied with being upset at his sister that he doesn’t have time to be anxious about being alone with Victor. He kind of forgets that Victor is there at all until he’s halfway through showering, naked, next to the man.

He yelps even though they’re in their individual stalls and Victor pokes his head in to check on him. 

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry, sorry.” 

Victor looks at him like he’s being weird, which he guesses he is, before going back to his stall. 

“Do I wash my hair, too?” 

“Uh, yes.” 

“Okay!” 

Yuuri rushes through the rest of his shower and mumbles to Victor that he’ll see him in there, fleeing to the hot spring. Victor either knows Yuuri needs a minute to compose himself, or just takes a really time to wash his hair, but either way Yuuri is grateful for the small reprieve. 

He sinks into the water, glad that once he’s in he’s much less visible, the moonlight not penetrating through the water. He’s soaked in the springs with countless friends and strangers, so it shouldn’t be weird at all to do it with Victor, but it is. Maybe because it’s so surreal that he’s here at all. Victor Nikiforov, eating with his family, soaking in the hot spring, _existing_ outside of the skating community. Definitely weird. 

Victor shows no embarrassment when he emerges through the doors, hands on his hips, surveying the landscape. 

“This is very beautiful,” he observes before joining Yuuri. 

“Thank you,” Yuuri says softly. 

“Are you okay, Solnyshko? It seemed like the news was a pretty big shock.”

Yuuri notes mutely, though inside he’s in turmoil. He can’t just dump on Victor, though, that’s not fair. 

“Mmm. Okay. Well let me know if you want to talk about it. Or if you want company to not talk about it. I’m here.” 

Embarrassingly, Yuuri feels tears prick the back of his eyelids. That’s so sweet and kind, he’s not used to anyone other than Phichit looking after him like this. He clears his throat and wills them away. 

“You know, I’m struggling right now with a big decision, maybe you could help me!” 

“Ok,” Yuuri says softly, glad for the distraction. 

“Well, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m getting a bit older.” 

He waits and Yuuri realizes he’s waiting for him to protest, but Victor laughs before he can.

“You’re very humbling, Yuuri. Anyway, I’m not sure if I should retire at the end of the season.”

“What?! No! You can’t!”

“That’s the reaction I was expecting.” Victor sighs dramatically, “but even you agree I’m getting old, _ancient_ even, I’m one bad practice away from a career ending injury as it is.” 

“No, you can’t quit, you’re still the best, you’re amazing!” 

Yuuri would feel embarrassed about how upset he’s getting, but this **is** upsetting! Victor can’t quit, he just can’t! How can he do that to his fans? His team? His country?! 

“Well what about you, Yuuri? I don’t see you training for next season, have you given up?”

“That’s different!”

“I don’t see how, I see so much potential in you, with the proper training I think you could beat me. You still have the spark, the inspiration. No one’s surprised by me anymore, not like before.” 

“Well now you’re just being ridiculous!” 

“What’s ridiculous is you giving up, you have years left, how can you be upset with me when it looks like you’re doing the same thing?” 

Yuuri glares at Victor, aware that he’s shouting at the man when he’s trying to open up to him, but unable to stop. 

“People look up to you! People are counting on you! You can’t just quit because you’re feeling uninspired, then find some inspiration!” 

Victor throws his head back in laughter, clearly untroubled by Yuuri’s outburst. 

“You, you are inspiring Yuuri. How about if I promise not to quit if you promise to keep trying, too.”

* * * * * * * * * * 

Yuuri’s face is red with outrage, his eyes flashing, and he’s never been more beautiful. He’s like a work of art, framed by the moonlight and stars, the water lapping softly around them from his movement. It’s delightfully surprising, amusing, _inspiring_ , he wonders if Yuuri knows he has this effect on people.

He’s breathing hard and staring at Victor in bewilderment at the suggestion that they both vow to keep trying, he’s stood but Victor doesn’t know that he’s even realized he’s done it. He towers over Victor, still seated, clearly upset. 

At least he’s upset about me, thinks Victor. He’d been shocked to see Yuuri learn of his sister’s engagement at the dinner table, clearly blindsided. The pain and betrayal written on his face, all Victor had wanted to do was bundle him up and steal him away where no one could hurt him ever again. 

And now this, he’s so passionate about Victor’s career, more passionate than even he is these days. If he could feel about his skating that Yuuri clearly does, he’d never retire, aching joints be damned. 

Yuuri sits abruptly, no doubt suddenly aware of his stance. Victor takes the opportunity to slide closer, leaning so their shoulders brush. 

“I really believe you could be one of the best, your step sequences are amazing, better than mine! You just need the confidence in your jumps.” 

Victor leans down and bumps his nose against Yuuri’s, who quickly squirms away. Victor fights down a sigh, no doubt Yuuri is nervous about being found by his family. Very taboo, making out in the hot springs, he imagines. 

He’s just about to suggest they head in when a loud stomping comes from the showering room. They both turn to stare as a figure emerges in a red, sleeveless hoodie with cat ears, red shorts, and red flip flops. 

“He’s my fucking coach, Katsuki, so back off!” 

“Yura!” Victor shouts in delight, before his brain catches up with him. “Oh no, Yakov is going to kill me.”

“You’re choreographing **my** short program, not this piggies, and if you retire you’ll be _my_ coach!” He snarls. 

“What are you talking about?” Victor asks in confusion. 

“Aren’t you here to coach him?” Yura asks, some of his righteous indignation draining away. 

“What? No. We’re dating.” 

“What?!” Both Yuuri’s say at the same time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Reminder that I have no beta, you are amazing, and I'm updating everyday because I'm a masochist. Love ya!

Escaping the hot spring to curl up in his pajamas with his phone is by far the best decision he’s made all day. Yuuri snuggles under his comforter and FaceTime’s Phichit.

“Yuuri? Is everything okay?” A groggy Phichit asks. 

“Sorry, sorry, what time is it there?” Yuuri feels a moment of panic and guilt for not checking the time before he called. 

Phichit rustles in his sheets, clearly forgetting there’s a clock on his phone. 

“5:30, my alarm was about to go off, don’t worry about it. What’s going on?” 

“Victor is here.” 

“Really? I didn’t think that would work.”

“Didn’t think what would work? Phichit, what did you do?” 

“How is he? Are you guys dating yet?”

“He says we are, but you’d think he’d ask me first!” 

Phichit laughs and sits up, stretching and yawning so Yuuri is staring at the wall for a moment. He feels a pang of homesickness for their tiny apartment, and then feels ridiculous because this is his home. 

“Mmm, when we get off you should check your Instagram, but before you decide to disown me, know that I love you and that I know you well enough to know you weren’t going to do it yourself.”

“What did you do?!” Yuuri hisses, glaring down at his best friend. 

“Look at this way, you _want_ to date Victor, right? And now you are. Yaaaay me.” 

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t, but I might after I open my Instagram.”

“Not my fault you refuse to use it. Your fans are thirsty for Yuuri content, I was just soothing the masses.” 

“No I _definitely_ hate you.”

“Is that a poster of Victor on your wall?”

“What? No.”

“It is! Has he seen it yet?” 

Yuuri chews on his lip as he looks around at the posters on the walls again. Sighing, he switches the view and shows Phichit his room. 

“Oh my God, it’s worse than the Victor shrine you built in your closet.”

“It was not a shrine!”

“Okay buddy, just, I think it’s going to be weird for him to fuck you while he watches. Though he might be into that.”

“I’m hanging up.” 

“And taking the posters down?” 

“Yes,” Yuuri hisses as Phichit smirks at him. 

Damnit, he really misses him. Phichit gives a sleepy wave before signing off and Yuuri pulls up his Instagram. He wants to scream when he sees what Phichit has posted on his page, no wonder Victor showed up thinking Yuuri was under the impression they were dating. Really Phichit, hashtag lonely? Way to make him seem desperate. 

Though… Victor had shown up because of this post. Does that mean he doesn’t want Yuuri to be lonely? Isn’t that kind of sweet? He can’t imagine jumping on a plane because of something someone posted online. He allows himself a moment to bask in the warm glow of being cared for before letting the horror of the entire world seeing this post descend upon him. 

A soft knock at the door startles him out of his thoughts. He squirrels out of his makeshift blanket fort and opens the door a crack. 

“Yuuri, I’m so sorry, I had no idea he was going to follow me here, are you upset?” 

“No,” Yuuri protests, shaking his head wildly.

How could Victor possibly think he’s mad at him after such a grand romantic gesture. Sure, it took him awhile to _realize_ that it was a grand romantic gesture, but he’s all caught up now. 

“I have to go back early, I wanted to stay longer but Yakov might actually take a hit out on me if I don’t get Yuri back. I can’t trust him to go by himself, he’s still convinced I’m here to train you.”

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“Well… we still have tonight and tomorrow morning. Could I sleep in here with you?” 

Yuuri turns and looks around his room before vehemently shaking his head no. Victor can never see his room. He would rather die. 

“Okay, I get it, we can take it slow. A goodnight kiss, though?”

Even though he can feel himself flushing, Yuuri slides out into the hallway, making sure the door doesn’t swing open, and kisses Victor briefly. Victor smiles down at him before wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him in for a much longer one. 

Maybe if he keeps the lights off Victor won’t see the posters? Yuuri makes a soft noise he’s never made before as Victor herds him against the wall, pressing himself flush against Yuuri. There’s no time to be embarrassed because then he’s pulling away only to start kissing and licking and sucking at his neck, his hands roving, exploring. Yuuri feels like a teenager all over again, like if this goes on for much longer he’s going to make a fool of himself in the hallway outside his childhood bedroom. 

The realization that his parents could stumble on them at any moment is enough to make Yuuri squirm away, though he’s still breathing in short little pants, and more than half of him just wants to launch himself at Victor, consequences be damned. 

“Sorry,” Victor says, his voice hoarse, “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

Yuuri nods, not trusting his voice. The posters have got to come down, tonight.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Yura kicks in his sleep and is most definitely not a morning person. Victor leaves him in their room to stomp his way through his morning routine to go in search of Yuuri, Makkachin at his heels. His sister is outside smoking a cigarette and tells him that Yuuri has gone for a run on the beach, so he sets off in the same direction. He has a small moment of indecision, where he wants to confront her on Yuuri’s behalf, but he decides against it. Yuuri doesn’t seem the type who would want someone to meddle in his life.

The beach isn’t too far away, and the walk is pleasant. Locals wave to him and he gets to pet a dog friend that Makkachin approaches, so all in all, a good start to the day. Yuuri is running laps on a path in training pants and a tight long sleeved tee and doesn’t notice Victor right away. 

He settles himself on a bench to watch, more at peace than he has been in a long while. Is he moving too fast? He knows he has the bad habit of jumping feet first into new relationships and then running away when things get boring and stale, but maybe this time is different. He’s certainly never carried a torch for this long. Is it possible that now that he’s caught Yuuri the fun will go out of it? 

He wishes he could talk it through with Chris, but seeing as Chris thinks they’ve been dating for a year… Oh well, he can figure this out, he’s a big boy. 

Victor waves as Yuuri catches sight of him, and is happy when the younger man approaches right away. Sometimes he feels like Yuuri sends mixed signals, so it’s nice that he didn’t run away as soon as he saw him. Wow. The bar is on the floor, Victor thinks to himself, if Chris were here he’d be so mad at me. 

“Victor! Sorry, I didn’t know if you’d be up yet so I thought I’d get a quick run in.”

“That’s okay, I needed to escape Yura anyway. What’s some sightseeing we can do with the,” Victor checks the time on his phone, “two hours before I have to leave for the airport?”

Yuuri’s face falls, but he covers it quickly. Victor preens inside, Yuuri doesn’t want him to go! 

“Well, there’s the beach,” he says, pointing behind him, “there’s the ice rink, there’s the ninja house, there’s,”

“Wait, stop. Ninja house? Can we do that?” 

Yuuri laughs and nods and then he holds his hand out for Victor. On his own, unprompted! Victor jumps up and grabs it, swinging their arms as they walk. Yuuri wants to hold hands with him! 

Yuuri takes pictures of him and Makka in front of what turns out to be a castle! With a ninja house inside! Then he asks a stranger to take a photo of them together and Victor thinks he might burst with happiness. No, this is surely nothing like anything he’s ever felt before! 

He’s sad when they have to head back to pick up Yura and their luggage for the airport, but Yuuri never pulls away and that almost makes up for it. 

“I’ll call you every night,” he promises on the car ride over and Yura makes fake vomiting noises. 

“Texting is okay sometimes, too,” Yuuri says, “send me pictures of Makkachin?” 

“How are you so perfect?” 

Yura kicks the back of the passenger seat sullenly, pulling his hoodie over his ears in a clear attempt to block them out. 

Yuuri threads their fingers together on the seat where Yura can’t see, and Victor beams at him. Everything is going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. If you want to stop reading now, and have this be the happily ever after you need in your life, that's cool with me. It's 2020, the world is on fire, you don't have to watch me blow these poor boys up if you don't want to. Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow! :)


	16. Chapter 16

Victor keeps his promise and calls every night, though sometimes he falls asleep only a few minutes in. Some nights they do video calls and sometimes they send each other dozens of photos throughout the day. 

Yuuri helps out at his family’s onsen and avoids Mari whenever he can, even though he knows it's not a real solution. He’s mad at Minako, too, so he can’t even work his frustration out on the barre. He ends up spending a lot of his free time on the ice, and now, with no pressure to perform, it’s easier to find the calm he’s lost. 

He skates old routines, and Victor’s routines, and makes up new ones. He attempts jumps he knows he can’t do and makes elaborate step sequences that make Yuuko’s triplets scream and cheer. 

On Christmas he spends the whole day on the phone with Victor, celebrating his birthday. Yuuri asks if he doesn’t want to go out with his friends but Victor insists that the only person he wants to see is Yuuri. It’s like his fantasies coming to life. 

On New Years, Mari confronts him.

* * * * * * * * * * 

A long distance relationship has never been easier. Victor has almost unlimited access to Yuuri’s time, and it’s exhilarating. He calls when Mila teases him about his hair, and when he catches Yura sending snapchats to Otabek when Yakov isn’t looking. He calls to talk about the dogs he sees outside and the food he eats for dinner, he sends pictures of anything that he thinks Yuuri would like and Yuuri always responds right away. Yuuri listens when he has mini meltdowns about his routines or various aches and pains, and Yuuri listens when he rambles on about sponsorships and life after skating.

He doesn’t really even notice that Yuuri doesn’t do the same, doesn’t talk about the things that are bringing him down, the things that are bothering him, until he stops responding at all. 

They spend his birthday video chatting the entire day. Yuuri has bought a Christmas cake to eat while Victor enjoys a birthday cupcake. Everything seems fine that day, and the next, and the few after that. Victor sends Yuuri some risque photos and Yuuri admits he’s too self conscious to reciprocate, and Victor doesn’t mind.   
New Years Eve they do two countdowns, one for each of their time zones, and Victor thinks he might be falling in love. Then he doesn’t hear from Yuuri for a week.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Yuuri sleeps in until 8, exhausted from ringing in the new year with his boyfriend. His _boyfriend_ , Victor freaking Nikiforov. Man of his dreams, skating idol, Victor Nikiforov.

Sometimes he panics because he knows if he does something to screw this up he’ll regret it for the rest of his life and let’s face it, he’s great at screwing things up. But he never seems to bore or irritate Victor, and Victor tells him everything that’s happening in his life so it’s almost like he’s there. 

Is he looking forward to being in the same country as him again? Yes. But in the meantime, this is good. This is more than he’s ever had before, so it’s enough. 

He floats downstairs riding the high of falling asleep to Victor whispering in his ear and walks right into the kitchen where Mari is washing dishes. Yuuri pointedly ignores her, grabbing a yogurt from the refrigerator, wondering if Victor slept in, too. 

“You didn’t tell us you were dating Victor, either,” she says quietly, as if they were in the middle of a conversation. 

“I wasn’t dating Victor until he came, and I’m not _marrying_ him,” Yuuri snaps back, too tired to deal with this. 

He moves to leave the kitchen and Mari blocks him, soap suds up to her elbows. 

“You never came home, it’s been five years.”

Yuuri glares at her, he hadn’t been aware there was an expiration date on family. Yes, he knows, he didn’t come home and he should have. He had wanted to come home with something to be proud of, something to show, look, it was all worth it. He hadn’t known that day would never come. 

“I wanted to tell you in person, but you never came home.” She repeats when Yuuri doesn’t answer. 

“Well I’m here now!” 

“And you won’t talk to me!”

“Because you didn’t tell me you were getting married!”

“Because you never came home!” 

“I called! You didn’t even tell me you were dating!”

“You barely called! You talked to mom more than me!”

“And she didn’t tell me, which means you told her not to!” 

“You could have asked!” 

“You could have told me!”

“You could have come home!” 

They’re both breathing hard and Yuuri is surprised no one has come to investigate. He’s filled with self doubt. 

Maybe it is all his fault, maybe his family would be better off if he weren’t here at all. If his sister didn’t want to call him to tell him she was even dating Minako, let alone getting married, is there even a relationship there worth salvaging? And his parents never mentioned it, did they think that Yuuri wasn’t family while he was away? That skating had become his family and so he didn’t need them? Or that they didn’t need a son who cost them so much and couldn’t even bring home a few medals and some sponsorship money? 

Yuuri pushes past his sister and flees to his room. He grabs a gym bag and shoves some clothes inside, grabbing his skates on the way out. He ends up at the rink where Yuuko takes one look at him and asks him what’s wrong. Twenty blubbering minutes later about being a failure both professionally and personally and she’s offering her couch in return for free babysitting. 

The triplets let him have the afternoon to wallow but the next day they force him to take them to the rink. The day after that they want to give him a makeover with Yuuko’s makeup, which Takeshi finds hilarious. They use lots of blush. The third day they make him pose for photos for their otaku blog and ‘interview’ him about the routines he’s been working on. He doesn’t have a lot of time for despair during the days but at night he does. 

He’ll lay staring at the ceiling in Yuuko’s living room and think about how his family is better off without him. That if they wanted him around someone would have come to see him by now, dragged him home. Victor is better off, too, he decides without someone like him hanging off of him. He doesn’t turn on his phone to tell him this, though.


	17. Chapter 17

“Hey Victor, isn’t this your boyfriend?” 

Mila tosses her phone to Victor, and snickers when he barely catches it. 

“I think so?” 

“What did you do? Is this why you’ve been weird all week? Did he dump you?” 

“No,” Victor says petulantly, trying to focus on the screen. 

“Did you dump him? You’re such a dumbass,” Yura grouches from the chair he’s dangling upside down in, hair brushing the floor. 

“No.” Victor barks, trying to decipher the article. 

That is Yuuri in the photo, his face is slightly puffy as though he’s been crying, but otherwise he looks okay. Unharmed. Whole. With two hands capable of holding and dialing a phone. 

“What is this?” 

“An otaku blog, I guess it was big news because Yuuri doesn’t usually agree to interviews. You should send him your PR person’s number. He’s shit at it.” 

Victor makes a noncommittal noise, scrolling through the article that Mila’s phone has made an attempt at translating. He wishes now he’d listened to his teammates and not had a beer because his head is a bit fuzzy. He’d needed to dull his thoughts for a night, though, even if Yakov would kill him if he found out. He can’t concentrate these days on the rink anyway, always on alert for a message or call from his boyfriend. If he even is still his boyfriend. 

“Read it,” he says, tossing the phone back to Mila. “The words keep moving for me.”

“You’re such a diva,” she says fondly. 

Yura slides off the chair to lay on the floor, making Victor wince. If he tried that his back would be screaming at him. 

“It says that Yuuri is staying with friends right now, that he’s training at a local rink,” Mila scans the article some more as Victor waits impatiently. “There’s some stuff about his favorite foods, his favorite tv shows, his favorite color… who wrote this?” 

“What is it?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s Yuuri’s favorite color?” 

“Silver and blue, oh Victor, you’re his favorite color!” 

“Shut up woman,” Yura snarls, but they ignore him. 

“Shouldn’t he have said gold?” Georgi asks, startling Victor. 

He’d forgotten he was even there. 

“Why?” Yura asks, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. 

“Because… gold medals?” 

“Ha! You’re right, stupid piggy, settling for silver.” 

“Who are you texting, Yura?” Victor asks, voice dangerous. 

“No one,” he says, sliding his phone into his hoodie pocket. 

“Oooh, does Yura have a girlfriend?”

“Fuck you.” 

“It’s not worth it,” Georgi warns him and everyone shares an exasperated look. 

“Oh, look, it’s run by three little girls! It says here that they’re six! How cute!” 

“Why is your boyfriend hanging out with little kids?” 

“Why are you texting Otabek?”

“What, I’m not! Fuck you old man!” Yura stands and stomps into the kitchen. 

“Oooh, Otabek, huh? He’s cute, I see it.” 

“I think he’s scary.” 

Victor and Mila look at Georgi for a moment before unanimously deciding to ignore him. 

“Why _is_ your boyfriend hanging out with little kids?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well can’t you ask him?” 

“He’s not answering his phone.” 

Victor pouts and won’t meet her eye, pulling the label off his beer bottle. 

“What did you do?” 

“I didn’t! Or, I don’t think I did. I don’t knoooow! Maybe I should fly over again.”

“Don’t you fucking dare, you promised Yakov you’d do that exhibition skate for charity this weekend.” 

“But Mila,” Victor whines. 

“Don’t you but me, you can’t keep disappearing and expect Yakov to keep coaching you. And it’s doing a number on Yura, too.” 

“Why are you talking about me? What are you saying?” 

Yura comes back from the kitchen with a soda and Victor files it away for later. Lilia has strictly forbidden the sugary drinks. 

“Calm down, I’m telling Victor he can’t go back to Japan.” 

“I’ll cut you if you do,” Yura warns, sitting at Mila’s feet. 

“Then what do I do?”

“Stop whining.”

“I’m not whining. You’re whining.” 

Mila rolls her eyes at him, “don’t you know any of his friends? Isn’t there someone you can call who can check on him?” 

“Ooh! Maybe!” 

Victor sits up in his chair, excited at the idea. Phichit! He can call Phichit! Or maybe he should message Mama Katsuki on Line? No, he should start with Phichit. 

“What do I say?” He asks, fingers poised. 

“I don’t fucking know,” Yura grouches. 

“Maybe… have you heard from Yuuri?” 

“Okay, yeah, that’s good,” he nods in thanks and types it carefully to Phichit. 

Everyone sits and stares at each other for a moment as though the message will receive an instantaneous response. Yura sneaks his phone out of his hoodie to check the screen before putting it back and sipping his soda. Georgi sighs dramatically but no one asks him what’s wrong. Mila reaches down and pats Yura’s hair and he glares at her like he’s mad, even though they all know he loves the attention. 

Victor jumps a bit when his phone dings. 

“What’s it say? Not that I care,” Yura adds quickly. 

“No, sorry, let me call him real quick and then it has an emoji with two fingers? Oh wait, it says he’s typing again. ‘You know it’s 2 am there’,” Victor reads aloud. “I did know that. I didn’t mean tonight!” 

“Well tell him that!” Mila makes a shooing motion with her hands as if to herd him into writing Phichit back. 

“I meant this week,” Victor says aloud as he types. 

The phone dings again and Victor squints at his phone. Phichit has sent him a sad face, followed by another message. “Sorry, we don’t talk everyday. If he’s not answering his phone, tho, it’s probably not personal. I’ll try again tonight and let you know. *purple heart emoji*” 

Victor sighs dramatically and drops the phone into his lap. 

Mila clears her throat pointedly and raises an eyebrow at him. 

“He says he doesn’t know, but if he isn’t answering it’s not personal. How is it not personal? Am I not his boyfriend? He’s never gone this long without messaging me. I’d be worried something were wrong except I know Mama Katsuki would call me if he were hurt.” 

“What, he’s never gone this long in the ‘year’,” Yura makes air quotes, “you’ve been dating?” 

Mila hits him with her knee and hisses at him to be quiet, but the damage is done. 

“And you all know we made it up, why, why is my life like this?”

“You sound like Georgi.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Georgi protests and Mila has the decency to look sheepish. 

“Just send him a giant gift like you do with a note asking him to call,” Yura suggests. 

“But I don’t want to do what I always do, Yuuri is different.” 

Yura makes a gagging noise at the same time that Mila goes “awwww”. Georgi is still staring at Mila, waiting for an explanation about her previous comment. She ignores him. 

“But a gift will at least let him know you’re thinking about him,” Mila reasons, “and it doesn’t have to be something from Guuci or Versace, it could just be, you know, flowers or something. Something personal maybe?” 

“Send him a new phone case,” Yura suggests. 

“Anya liked jewelry,” Georgi offers. 

“Ok.” 

“Okay?”

“Ok, I’ll send him something personal!” 

“Well go home and do it. All of you, out of my apartment,” Mila says. “We have practice in the morning, and I need my beauty rest.” 

“But you are already beautiful.” 

“That’s nice Georgi, you still have to go home.” 

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession. If I could write a story of nothing but dialogue I would, because it’s where I’m most comfortable. I try to avoid relying on it too much so I can stretch in my writing but sometimes I just slip and whoops, here’s a chapter consisting of almost all dialogue. Sorry it's missing Yuuri's perspective, I have 4 more hours of WFH left for today and if I slip into Yuuri's anxious little mind right now, nothing will get done. See you tomorrow!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves. Reminder that I have no beta, and I barely proofread this chapter, it was basically a speed run in between tasks. Thank you to everyone who's leaving kind words and kudos, you are amazing and make writing this so much more fun! Thanks for letting me play!

“Yuuri, your friend Phichit called, he wanted to know if you were okay.” Yuuko waves at the girls as they skate by. 

“He called here? The rink?”

“Yeah, he seemed kind of worried, did you turn your phone off?” 

Yuuri shuffles on his skates, not meeting Yuuko’s eyes. He doesn’t want to disappoint her, too. 

“I guess.” 

“You guess? Yuuri, your mother must be so worried! Where is it?” 

“My bag, I haven’t charged it.” 

“Well go do that!” 

“But the girls.”

“But the girls nothing, I can watch my own children, go charge your phone! And call your mother! I thought they were giving you time to cool off. Turn off your phone, honestly,” Yuuko mutters as she walks back to the desk to get skates. 

Yuuri begrudgingly heads off to look for his phone. He knows that it was probably stupid to turn off his phone, he let his anxiety get the best of him, but the thought of turning it back on is terrifying. What if everyone is mad at him? What if no one other than Phichit noticed? What if Victor dumped him in a voice mail? What if _Victor_ didn’t notice? What if, after a few days Yuuri free, he realized that he was better off without him? What if his parents did? What if his mom hasn’t called? What if she has? 

He lets his mind spiral as he waits for the phone to charge, delaying turning it on. He fumbles with it when he hears footsteps in the hall, but no one walks in. Once his heart rate slows he decides to go for it, though he feels like he wants to puke. 

Notifications begin to pop up as soon as the screen comes to life and Yuuri cringes. Calls, voicemails, text messages, looks like he missed a lot. He doesn’t even think about opening any of his apps, he keeps the notifications off on those for a reason. 

Once it looks like the phone is done visually shouting at him, he opens his text messages. 42 from Phichit, 96 from Victor, 2 from Mari, and 5 from his mom. He opens his mom’s messages first. 

It’s not too bad, she asks where he is, then if he is safe, then asks when he is coming home. The fourth message is apologizing for not telling him about Mari and Minako and the fifth is telling him to come home whenever he is ready. Tears prick his eyes and he clutches the phone to his chest. Instead of opening Phichit’s messages he just calls him. 

“Yuuri! Hey! Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Yuuri whispers, “sorry I worried you.” 

“No, it’s okay, I wasn’t worried at all until Victor called.”

“Victor called you??” 

“Yeah, didn’t you read my messages?”

“Not yet.”

Phichit sighs down the line and Yuuri winces. That’s fair. 

“He was pretty freaked out.”

“Do you think he’s going to dump me?” 

“I think if you call him and explain, really explain, about your anxiety, and Mari, that he’ll listen. He seems really nice, Yuuri. I think it’s awesome that he thought to call me at all. He must really care about you.” 

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Yuuri! Stop it! Call him!” 

“I will!”

“Soon?”

“Yes.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

“Okay, well I gotta go, but I love you.” 

“I love you too, Phichit. Thanks.” 

Yuuri fiddles with his phone, before taking a deep breath and opening the messages from Mari. The first is just “I’m sorry”, and the second is “you have a package”, which okay… weird? That leaves Victor’s. He scrolls through quickly, the first day is normal, lots of “thinking of you” and “miss you” and “look at this dog”. The second day are a bit more unsure, “are you ok?”, “did I do something wrong?”, “call me what you can”, and “look at this dog”. The messages from yesterday are much the same, with Victor asking if he should stop texting, and then one from early this morning saying he’d spoken to Phichit and to call whenever he feels ready. 

Everyone is so worried, and kind, and maybe a little upset. But upset because he disappeared, not upset because he takes up their time, or because he’s a nuisance. His therapist in Detroit had worked with him on this, on remembering that sometimes his brain lies to him and tells him that the people who care about him don’t want him around, and that he has to remember that it’s wrong. 

Mustering up all of his courage, he calls his boyfriend.

* * * * * * * * * *

“What are you doing, Vitya?” Yakov screams as Victor dives for his phone.

He’d idiotically left it in his bag off the ice, but it’s finally ringing and he needs to answer it _now._

“Hello?” He pants into the phone without checking the screen. 

“Oh, you’re training, I’m sorry, I’ll call back later.”

“VITYA! GET OFF THE PHONE!”

“No, no, don’t hang up, hold on,” Victor grabs his skate guards and holds the phone between his ear and shoulder, “Yuuri? Are you still there?”

“Ya.” 

“ **Vitya!** ” 

“ **I will be right back!** ”

“I can call later.”

“Yuuri, if you hang up on me I’m getting on a plane to see you, and then Yakov will murder your entire family in their sleep.”

This startles a laugh out of Yuuri and Victor stops holding a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He walks as quickly as he can in his skates until he’s out of earshot of the everyone else. 

“I missed you, are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. There’s some things I should probably tell you. Later.” 

“Ok, okay that’s fine. You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“What? Victor no, you should be mad at _me_!” 

“I’m not. Well not mad, maybe a little upset, but… never mad. Can I call you after practice?”

“I’ll keep my phone on me.” 

“Ok.”

“Ok.” 

“I should hang up.” 

“You should.”

“Yakov is going to kill me if I don’t get back out there.” 

“Well, I don’t want a dead boyfriend.” 

“So I’m still your boyfriend?”

“Do you want to be?”

“Of course.”

“Then of course.”

“Ok, I’m really hanging up now.” 

“Ok.” 

Victor sits and listens to Yuuri breathe for a few more seconds before hanging up.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Mila makes fun of him for the entire practice and Victor magnanimously doesn’t point out that she was the one who told him he needed to get a boyfriend in the first place. The day drags on for what feels like years. He rushes through his shower in the locker room and practically sprints up the stairs to his apartment. Makkachin reminds him she still needs to go out, so it’s almost an hour after practice before he finally makes the call.

Yuuri rejects his video call but then calls back right away for voice only. 

“Sorry, hey, is this okay? I didn’t really want to do video, I look… not great, right now.” 

“Yuuri, you could never look bad!”

“Uh. Thanks?” 

“Please, tell me what happened. Phichit said that it wasn’t personal but I was so worried I’d said something wrong! Did you get my gift?” 

“Oh, I haven’t been home yet, so… no. Sorry. I was thinking maybe I would go home tomorrow? And talk to my family?”

“So something happened with your family? Was it Mari again?” Victor tries to keep his anger out of his voice, but he hasn’t liked Mari from the beginning. 

“Yeah, no, it was my fault.” Yuuri takes a deep breath and Victor bites down the urge to talk, Yuuri clearly needs time to talk this through. 

“Mari was… is… upset with me because I haven’t been home in so long. I guess she didn’t want to tell me about Minako until I came home, and then I didn’t come home, and I was mad because my whole family was hiding it from me and… I have anxiety.” 

Yuuri says this like it’s a secret, a bomb that is going to send Victor running. 

“Ok,” Victor says, because it is. 

“Uh, I mean, sometimes I do things, and it’s not an excuse, but sometimes I convince myself that no one wants me around and that everyone would be better off without me and I’m doing you a favor by not talking to you. I know, it’s stupid, but…”

“It’s not stupid! I’m sorry you feel that way. I want you to know that I _always_ want to talk to you, but it’s okay if you can’t, and I won’t get mad. Though… maybe sometimes you could talk to me about what’s bothering you? Before it gets this bad? I knew you and Mari were fighting but I didn’t know you hadn’t talked about it at all. I mean… I tell you everything. And I think these last few days made me realize that you don’t really tell me much. I want to _know_ you Yuuri, everything about you!”

“I’ll try,” Yuuri offers. 

“Well, we could start right now!” Victor tries to keep his voice bright, and hopeful, to keep his Yuuri on the line. 

“It’s kind of late.” 

“Yuuri! Pleeeease,” Victor pleads, “where are you staying? Who are the children who posted about you online? Have you been eating?”

“You saw that?” 

“Do you have secret love children I don’t know about,” Victor jokes. 

“Victoooor, no,” Yuuri laughs, “I’m staying with my friend Yuuko. The triplets are Axel, Loop, and Lutz, I’ve been babysitting them and they wanted to interview me. I thought it was cute, I didn’t think anyone would see.”

“But Yuuri, you’re famous! Everyone wants to hear about you! My favorite color is the brown like your eyes, by the way.” 

“No it’s not, it’s blue,” Yuuri laughs, though he sounds pleased. 

Victor gasps, “how did you know?”

“You said it in an article, I think?”

“Yuuuuurri, are you my _fan_? How did I not know this? Oh this is wonderful, my favorite thing to talk about is me!”

Yuuri makes a strangled noise on the other end of the phone and Victor laughs.

“It’s okay, it’s hard not to be my fan, I know. But now I’ll be your fan, too!” 

“I’m, uh, I’m going to get to bed.”

“Noo, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry!!” 

“It’s okay, it’s really late here, I just wanted to talk to you before bed.” 

“One more thing! Please! I have Four Continents at the end of the month, but afterwards… well, I was thinking maybe I could fly you out to Russia? For a weekend maybe? Or longer? I have all these frequent flyer miles, my sponsors pay to fly me places but I get to keep the miles… please? It would mean a lot to me.” 

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course!” 

“Ok. And Victor? I’m really sorry about this week.” 

“It’s okay, Yuuri. And now I know! Call me when you wake up, ok?” 

“Ok.”

“Goodnight Yuuri.”

“Night, Vitya.” 

And then he hangs up the phone like he hadn’t just stolen the air from Victor’s lungs.


	19. Chapter 19

The plane is full, which means that Yuuri is sitting next to a stranger, an old woman who’s brought her knitting along. Yuuri smiles at her and she nods, but doesn’t start a conversation, which he appreciates. 

Victor has given him a survey to fill out in flight. Every night he’s asked Yuuri at least one question, some times several, in an effort to draw him out of his shell. Giving out information about himself still doesn’t come naturally to him, but he tries. 

They’ve covered Yuuri’s relationship history (practically non existent), his career goals (up in the air) and a long list of favorites (Katsudon, poodles, ballet, and champagne). Most nights, after Yuuri shares this information Victor will reciprocate with long monologues about his life, and then apologizes. Yuuri doesn’t mind, though, it’s like getting to know all of the things he’d wanted the reporters to ask Victor when he was growing up. 

Victor had reasoned that since Yuuri would be unreachable for almost 12 hours between travel and the flight, he was due some form of compensation. Thus, the survey. Yuuri hasn’t looked at it yet, but he has agreed to try to fill all of the questions. He thinks it might be easier writing his answers then having to say them out loud, but he’s not sure. 

Once the grandma next to him nods off a few hours into the flight he pulls it out.

1.If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?  
_I really enjoyed Spain the last time I was there, I would like to visit it again one day._  
2.Who is your favorite skater (other than me, obviously).  
_Phichit is my favorite person who is a skater so I guess him._  
3.Do you want to have children one day? If so, how many?  
_I like children, but I don’t know yet if I want any. I don’t not want them?_  
4.What’s something you wish you were better at?  
_Talking to people about how I’m feeling, and not shutting people out_  
5.What do you not want in a boyfriend?  
_Someone who lies to me or cheats, I guess. I’ve never had a real boyfriend before, though._  
6.What are you wearing?  
_Clothes._  
7.What would be your perfect date?  
_I don’t know, just spending time with them? I really like our phone dates_  
8.What is your favorite thing about yourself?  
_I like that I try really hard when I want something?_  
9.Will you sleep in my bed tonight? 

Yuuri sucks in a breathe and looks around, as though the other passengers can see what’s written on the paper. It isn’t even risque, especially by Victor’s standards, but it’s surprising to see there in black and white. He chews on his pen while he mulls over what to write. He’s surprised to see that over an hour has pas/sed while he’s muddled through his answers. Number 8 had especially stumped him and he’d had to think about what Phichit might like about him to come up with ideas. 

When his seatmate starts to stir in her sleep Yuuri hastily writes his answer and puts the paper away.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Victor is so excited he’s practically vibrating. Yuuri’s plane would be landing any minute and they’d finally be in the same country again. He’s nervous, what if Yuuri sees him and decides this was all a mistake? And he’s happy, because in a few minutes he’ll be able to touch him.

He smooths his coat down and smiles at a child who stares at him as she walks past. Normally he’d offer an autograph or photo, but he thinks it’s a bad idea right now. The doors open and people come pouring out, greeting their loved ones or leaving the crowd and heading off. Where is he??  
Then a sleepy looking Yuuri emerges, holding two large bags on one arm, and an old woman hanging off the other. He’s nodding at something she’s saying, walking slowly. A young woman separates from the waiting crowd to claim her, and it looks as though she’s thanking his Yuuri. She’s very pretty. And young. Victor decides it’s time he greets his boyfriend. 

“Yuuri!” He calls, talking long strides to where he stands with the two women. 

“Victor!” He smiles up at him tiredly, and he’s so beautiful. 

“Oh, is this your young man? Very nice,” the old woman says, and Yuuri coughs, blushing. “Well, off with you then! Go, be young!” 

“Grandma,” the pretty woman admonishes, “thank you so much for your help, here, I’ll take that.” 

The pretty woman takes the large patchwork bag from Yuuri and he bows. 

“Have a nice night,” he calls as Victor begins to pull him away. 

Victor laces their fingers together as he navigates them through the crowds. 

“Is this okay?” He asks and Yuuri nods, though he still has a light blush on his nose. 

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get sick of that. 

“You look tired, did you get any sleep on the plane?” 

“No,” Yuuri says, before yawning, “can we take a nap when we get to your place?” 

“But Yuuri!” Victor protests, and Yuuri shivers as the cool Russian air hits him, “if you sleep now you won’t be able to sleep tonight! It’s barely 6!” 

“I know, just a little nap?” 

Yuuri leans over and rests his head against his shoulder, snuggling into his arm. A sleepy Yuuri is even more adorable than a regular Yuuri. 

“Maybe,” Victor hedges. “Don’t you want to get something to eat first?” 

“Mmm,” Yuuri grunts noncommittally.

“This is me,” Victor says as they reach his car. 

He takes Yuuri’s bag from him and tosses it in the trunk before opening his door for him. 

“I’m going to talk to you to keep you awake until we get to the apartment, ok?” 

“Ok,” Yuuri says, but he’s already nestling into his seat to get comfortable. 

“How was your flight?” 

“Ok.” 

“Yuuri,” Victor laughs, “help me out here, more than one word answers.” 

“Ok.” 

“I missed you.” 

“Missed you, too.” 

“Of course you did, I’m amazing!” 

Yuuri looks at him and Victor sticks his tongue out which earns him a small laugh. 

Victor continues the conversational prods until they pull up to his building. He’s not completely positive if Yuuri is awake or talking in his sleep. Either way, he looks so soft and sweet, and Victor feels honored to have him so relaxed in his presence. 

“Careful, Makkachin will want to greet you,” Victor warns before opening the door. 

Yuuri falls to his knees as soon as they're in, giving Makkachin all the pets and love. She sits patiently as Yuuri gives her a hug, before trying to lick his face. 

This is real, Victor decides in that moment. He knows that when he does long distance he has a tendency to build his partner up in his head, make them who he wants them to be only to be disappointed when they’re together in person. This isn’t that, though. Yuuri is just as perfect here, next to him, as he is on the other end of the phone. 

He is in love. He’s in love with Katsuki Yuuri, and he needs to tell him. Well, he amends, he needs to tell him when he’s a bit more awake.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Victor steers him to the bathroom with his bag to get changed out of his traveling clothes. He eyes Victor’s giant shower and briefly considers a quick wash, but decides against it. He’s so tired even his eyes feel too heavy. Instead he opts for a quick wash up in the sink, brushing his teeth and washing his face to get the stale airplane feel off of it. He changes into the soft sweatpants and tshirt he brought to sleep in. He knows he’s not being a great guest, no doubt Victor had something planned for the evening, but he can’t help it.

The plan had been to sleep on the plane, but he’s never been great at that. No, a quick nap here and then they can get dinner and maybe watch a movie or just talk. Victor leads him to his bed and looks at him questionly but Yuuri just nods. It seems much less scary here in person. Victor beams at him as he nestles down into the blankets then follows him in. 

“An hour, you think? Two?” 

“Mmm, two would be good,” Yuuri mumbles, squirelling closer to Victor to rest his head on his shoulder. 

Victor sets the alarm and wraps an arm around him, making everything warm and perfect. He drifts off to Victor kissing the top of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo... this chapter was meant to be longer but a few things made me decide that this is a good place to cut it off, and I hope you'll agree with me.
> 
> 1\. Completely selfish, I've run out of time, and I have the evening shift on desk. My IT doesn't need to see this!  
> 2\. The rating is about to change, and for those of you who would like to skip the smutty smutness will now have that option. I'll throw a TL;DR at the end of tomorrow's chapter and you can find the plot relevant details without having to see any of the words we're protecting IT from!  
> 3\. It gives me time to give you guys, the readers, to notice the rating has changed. I know some of you don't read the chapter notes - because I don't! So, lets give those folks a minute, ya? 
> 
> Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow and I'll try to mix the fluff with some smut, something I've never tried before! Wish me luck! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, you're all amazing!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never had to write smut where the characters have to look each other in the eye the next day, I'm more of a self contained, smut only, kinda gal. Anyway, if you don't want to read the sexy fun times go ahead and skip to the end notes for a chapter summary and I'll see you tomorrow! Reminder: Consent is communicated, enthusiastic, and ongoing my sexy friends!

The room is dark when he wakes up, Victor has wrapped himself around him like an octopus somehow making Yuuri the little spoon. Either it’s been less than 2 hours or they’ve slept through the alarm. 

Yuuri squirms back into Victor trying to get comfortable and Victor snuffles in his sleep, pressing into Yuuri’s back, pulling him closer. A moment later the hand resting on his arm starts making slow rubbing movements, as if to soothe Yuuri back to sleep. Yuuri tries to roll over, so he’s facing Victor, but Victor squeezes him tighter, so he’s momentarily stuck on his back, midroll. 

Victor noses against his throat, laying a soft kiss there before resting his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri is slightly more awake now and wonders if he shouldn’t try to wiggle his way out to check the time. Victor seems to anticipate this, though, and makes a grumpy noise, throwing a leg over Yuuri. And oh… well, okay, that’s just a natural waking reaction, Yuuri tells himself. It’s happened before when Phichit and him have fallen asleep cuddling, it doesn’t have to mean anything. Except, well, it’s not Phichit, it’s Victor, his boyfriend, and it seems to be giving him his own natural reaction. 

Embarrassed, Yuuri tries to shift away so Victor won’t notice but Victor is pressing against his hip now and he makes a soft moaning noise. Is he awake? He seems to be asleep, his eyes are closed… what should he do? Victor presses his leg against Yuuri and Yuuri cants his hips without meaning to, seeking the friction. 

“Mmm,” Victor mumbles, and then he’s licking and sucking at the side of Yuuri’s neck. 

“Victor?” Yuuri whispers, worried that Victor is sleep seducing him. 

“Hmm?” Victor makes a questioning noise, before laying a kiss on his shoulder, his arm coming up to turn Yuuri’s head. 

Then he’s kissing him, and Yuuri has to assume that Victor is awake because he doesn’t think it’s possible to kiss like this while you’re asleep. Some fumbling and tugging and Yuuri is on his side, facing Victor, finally, and kissing him back. 

He feels Victor fiddling with the hem of his shirt, but he doesn’t pull it up, no doubt hesitant after Yuuri has been so reluctant to undress in front of him. Then he runs his hand under his shirt up his chest, and his hand feels hot on Yuuri’s skin, like he’s marking him with his touch. Yuuri tries to mirror the action, though it takes him a minute to get his hand in the right place. 

The skin to skin contact somehow makes things better and Yuuri wants more of it, but he’s not sure how to ask. Victor breaks the kiss and nuzzles their noses together. 

“Is this okay?” 

“Y-yes,” Yuuri stammers, before nodding. 

Victor brings his hand down and Yuuri is sure that he knows where this is headed, but then he reaches around to grab his ass, instead. 

“Is this okay?” 

Yuuri nods, then gasps when Victor pushes them together, grinding their hips together before nosing along his jawline. 

“This?” 

This. This is officially as far as Yuuri’s gone with another man and while this _is_ okay, amazing in fact, he’s still a little embarrassed at his inexperience. 

“Can I?” Yuuri starts, then swallows heavily, before making a tugging motion on Victor’s shirt. 

“Yes,” Victor says a bit louder than they’ve been speaking, before rushing to untangle himself so he can take it off. 

He sits up on his knees and pulls his shirt over his head, like Yuuri’s own private show. He’s beautiful, like a statue, all lean lines and muscle. Yuuri isn’t sure what he wants to touch first. 

“Can I?” Victor repeats back to Yuuri, and Yuuri nods. 

He sits up on his elbows first, unsure how to go about it, but then Victor is pulling him up to kiss him again and a moment later he’s pulling Yuuri’s shirt over his head. He doesn’t break off the kiss to stare, though, and Yuuri loves him a little bit for it, for knowing even now he’s self conscious. 

Victor herds him back down against the pillows, hovering over him. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop, if you don’t like something.” 

Yuuri nods, but Victor keeps looking at him until he gives a verbal okay. 

Then he’s kissing a line down his neck to his chest, pulling a nipple into his mouth, rolling a tongue over it, and Yuuri is arching off the bed. Not sure what to do with his hands he threads them through Victor’s hair, it’s soft and silky between his fingers, and when Victor moves to the other side he’s not sure if he wants to tug at it or push his head down so he never stops. 

Victor smirks at him, _smirks_ damn him, and Yuuri takes it as a challenge. He grabs Victor and flips him and Victor rewards him with a small startled noise. Yuuri sits on Victor’s hips, leaning down to kiss him again before mirroring Victor’s actions from before. He’s a quick study, he decides, as Victor lets out a soft gasp as Yuuri sucks a bruise into his neck. 

Everywhere Victor touches feels electrified, but he wants to make Victor feel good, too. He knows he has more experience, that he’s had other lovers, but he wants to be special, different. Not for the first time he wishes he’d had better social skills that would have garnered him some of that experience. Victor tugs at his hair, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“We don’t have to do anything,” he says gently, and Yuuri realizes some of his trepidation must be apparent in his body language. 

“No, I… I don’t want to stop. Not yet. Is that okay?” 

“Yuuuuri, you’re going to kill me, come here,” Victor pulls him down into another kiss, which is familiar, safe. 

Knowing Victor would stop if he wanted to, that he can trust him, makes him braver. When their skin touches he feels even closer to the other man, and he wants more. If it feels this good to have Victor’s bare arms around his back, what would it feel like if they were naked? To feel Victor against him… everywhere? 

Before he can lose his nerve he pulls away to wiggle out of his pants. He can’t get them over his hips without climbing off Victor, but the thought of standing while Victor lays there is suddenly terrifying. He scoots backwards towards the edge of the bed, anyway. He can’t lose his nerve now, not when he really doesn’t want this to end. He can do this, he can. 

Victor must read his intent because he rolls towards Yuuri and stands first, pulling him up. He checks in again before pulling Yuuri’s pants down and Yuuri smiles at him, then bashfully looks at Victor’s waistband. 

Victor raises an eyebrow before quickly stepping out of his pants, then climbing onto the bed, pulling Yuuri back with him. Yuuri barely has time to orient himself before Victor is on him again, kissing him senseless. Victor reaches between them and grasps Yuuri firmly in his hand, giving an experimental tug, making Yuuri gasp into his mouth. 

“Is this okay?” 

“Yes,” Yuuri says, leaning in to nip at Victor’s lip. 

Then he snakes his own hand between them, determined to reciprocate. Victor gives a soft moan that eggs him on, trying a different stroke, a different grip, staring down at his hand. 

His neck is going to be covered in hickeys in the morning, he just knows it, as Victor leans in to suck another bruise there. He’s just thinking he could do this forever when Victor lets go and pulls Yuuri’s hand away. Before he can protest though, he’s arching up and taking them both together in his fist. Yuuri thinks it's possible he’s going to cum just from the visual of his dick, slick with precum, sliding alongside Victor’s. 

“This okay?” Victor repeats for possibly the hundredth time, and Yuuri just nods. 

Victor’s fingers are so long, he thinks distantly, and then Victor is cumming and things are suddenly much slippier and Yuuri is following close behind. Victor smashes his mouth against Yuuri’s, tongue exploring his mouth as he gives a few more soft tugs and Yuuri pulls away, feeling oversensitive. 

“Be right back,” Victor says softly, getting out of bed. 

Yuuri barely has time to panic before he hears the sink running and realizes he’s washing his hand. He smiles at the ceiling, enjoying the afterglow. Victor returns after a few minutes with a warm wet towel and wipes Yuuri’s thighs and groin, making him shiver. He tosses the wet towel over his shoulder into a hamper then returns with a dry one, which Yuuri snatches away before Victor can decide to dry him, too. 

Victor crawls back into bed and nuzzles against Yuuri, pulling him half onto his chest and stomach. They lie there, breathing, Victor running his hand up and down his side, the outside of his thigh, across his stomach. After a few minutes Yuuri realizes with horror that he’s getting hard again. He tries to angle away from Victor in hopes that he won’t notice, but those are quickly dashed. 

“Really, Yuuri, already?” Victor teases him, grinning at him with all teeth. 

“I’m sorry, it happens sometimes, if you ignore it, it’ll go away.” 

“Yuuri, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Victor says frowning, “it’s very impressive! Though it makes me feel a bit old.” 

“What?” 

“Well, I’ve never been this quick,” he says, reaching down and tugging on Yuuri’s half hard cock, “but I certainly had more stamina and faster recovery. Here, lay back here.” 

Yuuri obeys, wondering if that’s true. He’s never had anyone to really talk to about it, but he’s always thought it was mortifying that he can’t seem to be satiated after only one orgrasm. Victor slides down the bed and situates himself between Yuuri’s legs and grins up at him. 

“Still okay?” 

“You don’t have to,” Yuuri protests. 

“Have to? Yuuri, if I could live with these thighs around my head for the rest of my life, I’d die a happy man.” 

He bites the thigh in question, as if to prove it. Then he licks the same spot and Yuuri jumps a bit. Victor leers at him, moving to the other thigh and give it a small nip. Yuuri’s cock thickens between his legs fully as Victor turns to it, taking it in hand. He maintains eye contact as he swallows him down in one smooth motion and Yuuri loses the ability to think or breathe or speak. 

He sets to work, bobbing up and down and Yuuri has to grip the sheets to keep from thrusting up into his mouth. He feels like he should warn Victor that his second orgasm usually takes longer than the first, but he doesn’t seem at all bothered as runs his tongue up the underside of his cock before swirling it around the head. Yuuri throws his head back and closes his eyes, then opens them again to stare at the breathtaking beauty of Victor between his legs. 

Victor pulls off for a moment to maneuver Yuuri so his legs are thrown over his shoulders before he’s swallowing him down again. Yuuri tenses for a moment as Victor grabs a handful of his ass, but quickly relaxes. He kneads him for a few moments, letting Yuuri acclimate, before running a finger between his cheeks, pressing softly at his hole.

Yuuri gasps, and then moans, not wanting Victor to pull off to check in with him, not wanting him to ever stop. Victor smiles around his dick, which Yuuri wouldn’t have thought possible, but before tonight he didn’t think a lot of this was possible. 

Victor puts more firm pressure on his hole, but doesn’t press in, even when Yuuri presses back. He taunts him like this until Yuuri thinks he might scream. 

He slowly sucks his way back up his cock, taking his hand away all together, and says hoarsely, “there’s lube, there, in the drawer. Can you grab it?” 

Yuuri nods, scrambling over, searching blindly with his hands. He hands it to Victor who holds Yuuri’s hand for a moment before taking it. 

“Do you want to keep going? We can stop.” 

“No, I mean yes, I mean, I don’t want to stop.” 

Victor smiles almost shyly before kissing him and then pushing him back against the pillows. 

“Okay, but we can if you want to. Anytime something doesn’t feel right, let me know.” 

Yuuri nods before croaking out a quick, “okay.” 

He watches with butterflies in his stomach as Victor pours a bit of lube in his hand, warming it up in his palm before coating his fingers. He scoots back in and slowly works Yuuri back into his mouth but doesn’t instantly return his hand, waiting until Yuuri has relaxed and is panting again. 

The first finger feels tight, better somehow then when he tries to do it himself. Victor works it in slowly, carefully, while still doing amazing things with his mouth. A second finger joins the first, and it burns a little, but Yuuri doesn’t protest, the thought of Victor being inside him is good incentive to concentrate instead on the wonderful friction and suction Victor is creating with his mouth. 

He takes longer stretching him with the second finger before he tries to slide in a third. Yuuri freezes, wincing a bit, and Victor instantly pulls it out. 

“No, don’t, just… slow,” Yuuri says before he can second guess it or get embarrassed. 

Victor listens, slowly working him open, rewarding him with a crook of his fingers against Yuuri’s prostate, causing him to jolt and yelp. Victor actually laughs, the rumble of it going straight through Yuuri. 

“Vitya,” he whispers, “please.” 

Victor moans, repeating the motion with his fingers before slowly pulling out and off. He grabs the lube again, smearing some on his own dick, and Yuuri realizes it’s a bit bigger than any toys he’s attempted. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Victor babbles, stroking his cock as he stares at Yuuri, “so perfect,” he runs a hand down Yuuri’s thigh, gripping it tightly. “Are you sure?” 

“Please,” Yuuri says, nodding. 

Victor groans, before grabbing a pillow and placing it under Yuuri’s hips, who moves willingly with him. 

“Okay, tell me to stop if you need me to.”

“I know, Vitya.” 

Victor closes his eyes and grips the base of his cock, seemingly needing a moment to collect himself. Then he’s over Yuuri, slowly lining himself up. 

The tip goes in easily and Yuuri wraps his legs around him, trying to pull him in. 

“Shh, hold on, hold on, slow,” Victor warns, pressing in. 

Yuuri can hear Victor murmuring again, but he doesn’t try to separate out the words, focusing on the slow burn as Victor enters him. Once he’s fully seated he kisses Yuuri’s forehead, his cheeks, his mouth. Yuuri captures his mouth with his own, thrusting his tongue into Victor’s mouth as his body gets used to the invasion. 

Victor slowly pulls back before thrusting back in, on the fourth thrust he finds Yuuri’s prostate and Yuuri gives a shout. Victor repeats the motion until Yuuri forgets his name. 

“Yuuri, my Yuuri, oh I’m not going to last long, I’m sorry,” he’s saying above him, and Yuuri presses back, trying to find a rhythm that will bring him over the edge. 

“Yuuri,” he’s whimpering, “I love you, oh god, I’m so sorry,” and then his thrusts come more erratically before he’s groaning again, and stilling. 

He’s only still for a moment, though, before reaching between them and pumping Yuuri’s cock while he makes quick, targeted thrusts. Victor’s cum makes his cock slide even easier inside of Yuuri, and Yuuri is fairly certain he leaves his body for a moment when he cums, white light flashing behind his eyes. Victor doesn’t stop moving his hand until Yuuri slaps him away, so oversensitive it almost hurts. He pulls out of Yuuri slowly, and he suddenly feels empty. And wet. 

Victor takes a bit longer this time before rolling out of bed but this time Yuuri doesn’t protest or bother feeling embarrassed as Victor cleans him up. Neither of them bother getting dressed again, Yuuri pulling Victor close this time, kissing his shoulder. 

He’s drifting back off to sleep a few minutes later, Victor’s breathing even and deep beside him, when he realizes that Victor just said he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR, Victor and Yuuri do the do, Victor is very patient and kind, but also, whoops, says the L word during, which... does it count if it's said during physical intimacy? Let's find out together!


	21. Chapter 21

Victor watches Yuuri sleep as the sun slowly peeks over the horizon and into his windows. Makkachin whining in the hallway reminds him that he can’t just spend the day in bed, even if it suddenly sounds much more appealing than anything else he had planned. 

He takes Makkachin on a much shorter walk than normal, determined to return before Yuuri wakes up. Normally he finds it adorable when she stops to sniff everything or greets the neighbors and begs for pets but today Victor is impatient. Beautiful, sweet, perfect Yuuri is in his bed at home and that’s where he wants to be. He apologizes to her as they climb into the elevator, promising her that he’ll ask Yuuri to go on a longer walk with her later. She circles his legs as though agreeing to this compromise and Victor laughs. 

When they come in he can hear Yuuri moving around in the bedroom, so he unclips Makka and heads into the kitchen to start the coffee. Should he make breakfast? No, he should see what Yuuri wants to do, first. Maybe they’ll go out, there’s a cut dog friendly cafe around the corner, or maybe they’ll cook something together. Both sound nice, really, anything with Yuuri sounds nice. 

He’s very wrapped up in his fantasy of domestic bliss as he walks to the room to see Yuuri, so it takes him a moment to register that Yuuri seems to be… panicking? 

“Yuuri, what’s wrong?” Victor asks, as Yuuri frantically hops into his sweatpants. 

“Victor?”

“Who else would it be?” Victor laughs, shutting the door so Makkachin won’t follow him in. 

“I… I thought…” Yuuri trails off, sitting on the bed heavily. 

“Thought what, Solnyshko, that I’d abandoned you in my own apartment and expected you to make your own way home? After I flew you in from another country?” Victor laughs, sitting next to Yuuri and threading their fingers together. “I had to take Makkachin for a walk, I didn’t want to wake you. How are you feeling?” 

Victor pushes some of Yuuri’s hair off his forehead before leaning his head on his shoulder, waiting for Yuuri to calm down. 

“I’m sorry, I just woke up all alone, I… I feel okay, thank you.” 

“Mmm, are you sore? I don’t have a hot spring but I have a soaking tub, it is magic Yuuri, I swear.” 

“A little? Not any worse than after a hard day on the ice?” 

Victor gasps, throwing a hand over his heart. 

“How can you compare my love making to skating, Yuuuuuri,” he whines, happy to see Yuuri smile at him. “I am offended. I demand you take it back.” 

Yuuri giggles, **giggles!** It’s so cute Victor thinks he might burst. 

“Shall we shower before we start the day?”

“Together?”

“Well, we could, I like the way you think, Yuuri, you’re a very quick learner, soon you will be seducing me!” 

“No, I didn’t mean, Victor!” 

Victor laughs before hopping up. 

“You take first shower, I’ll make some coffee. Do you like coffee? I have tea, too!” 

“Tea would be nice.” 

“Alright, you, go, shower, and I will make tea, and then we can talk about what to do today!” 

Yuuri nods shyly but doesn’t move right away. 

“I was wondering…”

Victor waits, cocking his head to the side, for Yuuri to finish his thought. 

“Well, would it be okay, and we don’t have to, but if there’s time, could we maybe go to the rink today? Just for an hour or so,” he rushes to add. 

He’s never brought someone he was romantically involved with to the rink. It feels personal, more personal than showing Yuuri his apartment or his favorite coffee shop or any of it. But he wants Yuuri to know him, all of him. 

Yuuri’s face has fallen and Victor rushes to reassure him. 

“No, no, sorry Yuuri, I was thinking of the schedule for today! I think we could slip in for an hour if we hurry! That sounds nice, did you bring your skates?”

“Well, no, but I could rent some?”

“Or course! Go shower, I’ll make the tea and then we can go!”

Yuuri nods, darting in to quickly kiss him before slipping away to shower. Victor sighs happily, smiling at Makkachin as he pulls out his phone to send a few threatening messages to make sure everyone will be on their best behaviour.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Victor’s shower looks complicated. It’s gigantic, for one, and stone on three sides. There are jets coming from the walls and the ceiling, and lights, too. Fortunately it must have some kind of preset because when Yuuri turns the handle, water comes shooting out from above. The water warms quickly until it’s almost the perfect temperature, and there are shelves and shelves of toiletries. Yuuri has forgotten to bring in his own stuff so he begins sniffing Victor’s many shampoos and soaps until he finds things he likes, hoping Victor won’t mind.

He hopes he hasn’t overstepped asking to visit the rink, he just has so much nervous energy and he knows that being on the ice will help calm him. At least it’s less embarrassing than waking up alone and jumping to the incredibly illogical conclusion that Victor regretted sleeping with him and left him to fend for himself. He’s glad Victor is so understanding, it’s hard to believe he hasn’t had any long term relationships before, he’s so good at reading and reassuring Yuuri. 

Victor has the tea ready when he comes out, he’s opted for the more casual outfit he packed that is Phichit approved. Pants that are loose enough to move in but still, as Phichit had said over video chat “hugs his ass like it owns it”, and a loose sweater. Victor beams at him, stirring his tea. 

“How was your shower?”

“Good, I borrowed some soap and shampoo, I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course! Here,” Victor pushes his tea towards him before sipping his own. 

There’s a small jar at his elbow with a spoon in it, and Yuuri moves to grab it, assuming it sugar, but Victor pulls it away, blushing. 

“Ah, well, this isn’t sugar, did you want sugar? Hold on.”

Victor gets up, putting the little pot in his refrigerator before pulling a small canister of sugar down from the cabinet. 

“What was in the jar?” Yuuri asks, intrigued. 

“Nothing, so, we can go to the rink after this, I think I’ll shower after if that’s okay? Do I smell?”

Yuuri smiles at Victor’s obvious attempt to change the subject. He’s never seen Victor so evasive, it’s kind of cute. 

“I promise not to laugh, or make fun of you,” Yuuri says, taking a sip of his tea. 

“But Yuuri, you _will_ ,” Victor whines, “I want you to see me as perfect! Am I not perfect? Of course I am.”

“No one’s perfect, I don’t want you to be perfect. Is that what you think?” 

“Fine,” Victor harrumphs, getting up to return the jar to the table. “It’s a Russian custom, but everyone who’s seen me do it from another country thinks it’s gross or weird. Promise you won’t think I’m gross, Yuuri.”

“Promise!” 

Victor opens the lid of the jar and digs out a small bit of… jam. Before stirring it into his tea. 

Yuuri schools his face, because it is kind of gross, but he knows that there are people who visit the onsen who think that the nude bathing is weird, or some of his mother’s cooking. There’s no reason to make Victor feel bad about it. 

“Do you think I’m gross?”

“Of course not,” Yuuri says gently, taking Victor’s hand from across the table, “I’ve never had you try to hide something from me before. It made me feel… different You’re always so open, I’m sorry I pushed you.”

“Noooo! Don’t feel bad Yuuri. I don’t want to hide things from you! I’m sorry!” Victor runs around the island to sit on the chair next to him, pulling him into a side hug. “Would you like to try it?” 

“Oh. Uh. Sure?” 

“Really?” Victor’s whole face lights up as he pulls the jar towards them. 

He mixes in a small dollop of jam and Yuuri picks his mug back up to take a small sip. It’s not awful, it’s not tea, but it’s not awful. 

“It’s different,” Yuuri hedges. 

“But not gross?”

“No Victor, not gross.” 

This seems to thrill Victor and it keeps him in a good mood as he moves around the apartment getting his things together and then the walk to the rink. Inside he gets Yuuri skates and ties his laces for him, which makes Yuuri laugh. There are other people on the rink already skating, Victor’s team if Yuuri remembers correctly, but no one approaches them right away. 

Victor follows him as he works through a quick circuit around the rink and then works through a step sequence to calm his mind. 

“Show me how to do that!” A voice demands, startling him. 

“Yura, go away,” Victor shouts, skating circles around Yuuri like a cute Russian force field. 

“No, show me how you do that,” he repeats, trying to mimic Yuuri’s earlier movements. 

Yuuri just laughs and goes through them a bit slower, but Yura growls in frustration when he doesn’t pick it up instantly. 

“Show me how you landed that quad salchow and I’ll go through it with you again,” Yuuri offers, skating to the other side of the rink with the younger boy. 

Almost an hour passes before Yuuri realizes he’s just abandoned Victor, who’s leaning against the boards chatting to Mila. He feels guilty, he’s here to see his boyfriend, not train, but Victor doesn’t seem bothered at all. 

“Yuuri!” He shouts in greeting when he skates over, all smiles. 

“I’m so sorry I got distracted,” Yuuri says, taking Victor’s offered hand. 

“I’m better company anyway,” Yuura snarks, taking a water bottle from Mila. 

“Are you two coming to the party tonight?” Mila asks. 

“Party?” 

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it Yuuri, it’s just a party with a bunch of athletes getting drunk even though they should be training, we aren’t going.” 

“Why not?” 

“Well, because… I thought you didn’t like parties?”

“I don’t, but I like your friends, I wouldn’t mind meeting more of them.” 

Mila snorts but when Yuuri looks at her she dons an innocent expression. 

“Isn’t your asshole friend Chris coming?” Yura asks. 

“Well, I mean, he said he might come.”

“Chris is flying all the way here and you don’t want to go see him?” Yuuri asks, baffled. “Victor we can go to the party, you don’t have to miss it for me.” 

“But Yuuri, I want to spend time with you, I don’t want to share you with all those people.” 

“Shut up, Victor, he says he wants to come, let him come!” 

Victor glares at Mila, before turning to pout at Yuuri. 

“We can go if you really want to, I guess.” 

“We don’t have to,” Yuuri protests, confused. 

Does Victor really not want to go to the party? Is he ashamed to be seen with Yuuri? What’s going on? 

“Oh look, you’ve made him feel bad,” Mila says, “you really don’t have to come Yuuri, I was just teasing Victor. We all know he wants to keep you trapped in his bedroom all night.” 

Yuuri flushes, looking between Victor and Mila. Did he tell her? Were they talking about him?

“Please, our love is pure,” Victor proclaims, wrapping his arms around Yuuri from behind, hanging off of his back, “Yuuri loves me for my mind.” 

“Ha!” 

“Yuuri tell her I’m perfect!” 

When Yuuri doesn’t respond Mila and Yura start laughing and Victor tugs on Yuuri’s hair in retribution. 

“None of you understand me,” he wails, letting go of Yuuri and skating backwards, “none of you appreciate meeee!” 

“I should feed him,” Yuuri says to Mila, “come on Victor, some food will make you feel better.”

“Only Yuuri understands me!” Victor amends, letting him guide him off the rink, “the rest of you are monsters!”


	22. Chapter 22

Victor is shocked at how easily Yuuri slips into his life. It’s like he’s always been there, he gets along with his rinkmates, he laughs at all his stupid jokes, he doesn’t mind when Victor babbles _or_ when he goes quiet for long periods of time. It feels like he belongs here, and Victor knows he’s going way too fast, but really, couldn’t Yuuri come live here and train just as easy as he does at home? He isn’t getting along with his family and he seems to really like it here. Right, too fast. Probably they should spend more than a few days in person before Victor suggests he move in. 

The only sour part of the day is Mila’s stupid idea that they go to the party tonight. One of his retired rinkmates is hosting it and tons of people are showing up, not just Russian’s or skaters but people from all over the Olympic community. It sounds boring and tedious to Victor, even if he would get to see Chris, but he doesn’t want Yuuri to think he doesn’t want him to meet his friends. Not that most of those people are his friends, not like his rinkmates, not like Chris. Yuuri has already met all the most important people in his life. 

Yuuri seems anxious about the decision hanging in the air so Victor offers a compromise. They’ll spend the day together, having fun, and then arrive to the party late and leave after a few rounds of introductions. Yuuri seems fine with this and Victor really hopes he trusts him enough now to say if he isn’t. 

Which leaves the rest of the day to plan. Makkachin gets her extra long walk after they eat brunch at a little restaurant Victor likes. Yuuri agrees to pick a movie while Victor showers but ends up dozing on the couch instead. Lunch is assembled together in Victor’s kitchen and eaten on the sofa followed by cuddling. Yuuri never pulls away or tells Victor he’s being too clingy, but he’s on high alert for it. He tries to reel it in but Yuuri is right there after so long of being only on the other side of a phone. 

Yuuri lets Victor do his hair for the party after he complains that he can’t do it as well as Phichit. Victor is delighted to get his hands on it with all of his hair products and Yuuri seems to like sitting between Victor’s knees as he runs his hands through it. The whole day is, in fact, perfect. It’s not until they’re at Ivan’s, about to walk in, that Victor realizes there was one more thing he should have mentioned about this party.

* * * * * * * * * 

Yuuri is really considering moving his flight back, something he promised himself he wouldn’t do. Victor had heavily implied that Yuuri could stay as long as he’d like but Yuuri decided before coming that he’d only stay for the weekend. No need to make Victor sick of him, just a small visit, to see how things go. Except things are going great, and now he doesn’t want to leave. He decides he can revisit it in the morning, maybe he’ll do something at the party so incredibly humiliating that the flight back to Japan will feel like a blessing.

He’s also been grappling with the whole “I love you” in the back of his mind all day, should he say it back? Should he pretend he didn’t hear it until Victor repeats it outside of the bedroom? Should he just be brave for both of them and say it and not worry if Victor will say it back? It feels a bit like stepping out onto a ledge not knowing where it will end, but he thinks he’d like to do it anyway. 

He almost does on the couch, when Victor wakes him up for a late lunch, but he chickens out. Then again when Victor helps him get ready, thinking it’s fun instead of annoying, but then it seems like the wrong time, so he doesn’t. It’s been a nice distraction from the worry of going to a party with a bunch of strangers, if nothing else. Now, though, he’s run out of time for just the two of them, and he needs to prepare himself to be social. Ack. 

Victor dotes on him and tells him what he wears doesn’t matter and yes the outfit he has left in his bag is perfect, and no, no one will care if he wears his glasses. He’s so supportive and sweet Yuuri is almost, _almost_ not worried about the gathering at all. 

Victor drives because it’s too far to walk and the house is already surrounded by cars when they get there. Music and light filter out of the windows and there’s a burst of chatter and sound every time the door opens. He can do this, they’ll go in, Victor will introduce him to some friends, they’ll have fun, and go home together. He’s looking forward to that last bit. 

He feels safe under Victor’s arm as they walk in. Several people nod or wave to Victor, who smiles at everyone. He never leaves Yuuri’s side, which he’s really grateful for. Victor sips on a water bottle but he hands Yuuri a beer that doesn’t taste awful. After an hour or so he’s feeling relaxed enough that he doesn’t _need_ Victor to hold his hand, but he’s not complaining either. Which is why he tells Victor it’s fine when he says he’s going to run to the bathroom really quick and Yuuri doesn’t offer to do something embarrassing, like tag along. 

He finds his way into the kitchen where it’s quieter, a group of people stand by a bowl of chips talking but the music is muted and no one is shouting to be heard. 

“Katsuki Yuuri?!” One of the people gasps from the huddle and they all turn to stare at him.

It’s basically his worst nightmare come to life. He waves awkwardly wondering what he can grab so it looks like he meant to enter and leave quickly, so it’s not rude. 

“Ana, don’t be weird, sorry about her, she’s a little drunk,” a tall, pale boy says, and Ana giggles.  
  
“Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to be creepy! You’re dating Victor, right?” 

“Oooh, fresh meat, come here, come here,” a short man says, coming over and guiding Yuuri over with a hand on his back. 

“You’re so cute!” Ana squeals, causing the pale boy to roll his eyes. 

“Seriously, ignore her, I’m Dimitri, this is Connor,” he gestures at the shorter man who nods, “this is Liam,” a dark, lean man nods, “Lily,” a red head who’s munching on chips gives a small finger wave, “and Derek,” he points to the last man in the group with startling green eyes and a scowl. 

“And we,” Ana sings, “are the formerly lovers of Victor club!” 

“Shut up, no we’re not,” Lily says, shoving Ana who just wobbles and giggles. 

“We sort of are,” Connor says, “not a club, though.”

“Sure we are! There’s a group chat and everything, do you want us to add you?”

“N..no thank you,” Yuuri stammers, thrown. 

“Leave him be, woman,” Dimitri says, “you barely count Connor.” 

“What? No, this is Olympics erasure, I won’t stand for it,” Ana says, patting Connor on the head. “Has he bought you anything pretty yet? I still use my Coach bag even though it’s aaaages out of date,” she flashes a bag at him. 

“I got a watch,” Connor says, showing his wrist, “and if I got a gift, I count.” 

“So what did he get you?” Ana asks, and they all stare at him. 

“He, um, he sent me an old team jacket? That he doesn’t wear anymore?”

“What? Ew.” Anna wrinkles her nose, “that won’t be your _real_ gift, then. Is it still early days?”

“Uh, what?” Yuuri is very confused and very uncomfortable. 

Did Victor really date all of these people? And buy them gifts? 

“How long have you been dating,” Lily asks with a soft British lilt. 

“Oh, um, a little over a month?” 

“Awww, you’re still in the honeymoon phase! I remember those days. He’s probably texting you nonstop and driving you insane, right?” 

“Ana, stop it,” Dimitri hisses, poking her in the side. 

“No, uh, I mean, we text some?” 

“It’s okay, no worries, you don’t have to tell them anything.”

“Connor, you’re so boring!” 

“Fuck you Ana.”

“No thanks.” 

“I’m just going to…” Yuuri points at the door behind him, backing away slowly. 

“No, we’re really sorry, we’re all just bitter after living through the ‘Victor Nikiforov Experience’,” Dimitri says, with air quotes. 

“Yes, the obsession, the gifts, then the disappearing, the it’s not you, it’s me, I just need some time to think, then by the time he gets around to dumping you, you almost think it’s your idea.” Ana counts off on her fingers. 

“Don’t forget the NDA,” Lily pipes in. 

“He made you sign a NDA?” Yuuri asks, feeling sick. 

“No, of course not,” Dimitri soothes, before adding, “Yakov did.” 

“Scary old bear,” Connor shudders. 

“Wait, so all of you had relationships with Victor?” 

“Victor doesn’t do relationships, honey, he does flings.” 

Yuuri stares at Connor, trying to make the words make sense. Is this what Chris was joking about at lunch? Is this why Victor said he’s never had any long term relationships? Because he had so many short term ones? 

“Honestly, I thought he was sick or something, he hasn’t shown up with anyone in forever,” Ana says, throwing herself back to lean against the cabinets, “but here you are, so I guess not.” 

The door opens behind him and Yuuri jumps. Masumi comes in, takes in the scene, and sighs.  
  
“Did you ghouls scare him? Ignore them, Yuuri, come on, Victor was looking for you.” 

“Bye Yuuri,” Ana sing songs, “let us know when you want in on the group chat!” 

“Why are you the way you are? Honestly, were you dropped on your head as a child or something?” Dimitri is saying as Masumi pulls him out of the kitchen. 

The noise from the party seems muted now, and the room may or may not be spinning. Yuuri clutches Masumi’s arm and tries to get his bearings. 

“Yuuri, really, don’t let them upset you. Sure, Victor has a past, but you’re his present and that’s way more important. I can’t believe he dated some of those idiots, you’re far superior.”

He nods but he doesn’t really believe it. Dimitri was gorgeous and funny, clearly the life of the party. Ana had been slightly annoying but also terribly beautiful. Yuuri had felt like the ugly duckling sitting in that room with them. 

Masumi sighs next to him, and Yuuri realizes he’s annoying him, too. He annoys everyone. Why is Victor even with him?

“Okay, well I can’t hand you back to Victor this way, Chris will kill me. Let's get you a drink or three. Come on.” 

Yuuri follows, still in a fog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry


	23. Chapter 23

Masumi takes ages to find Yuuri and when he brings him back he’s a little wobbly on his feet. He throws himself on the couch where Yura sits, having just been lectured heavily by Victor for being at this party underage. Yura’s insistence that a lot of the people there are his age did nothing to quell his irritation. 

Yuuri looks like he might nod off right there, which is worrisome. He’s a bad boyfriend for not going to look for him earlier, he’ll have to make it up to him. Masumi asks Yura if he can talk to him and the two huddle out of ear shot while Victor stares at them. Yura keeps looking over at him as his face gets angrier and angrier. Good. Masumi must be putting the young skater in his place. Coming to Ivan’s party at his age, really. 

Yura storms off into the crowd and Masumi looks smug. Chris comes over and wraps him in his arms, and whispers in his ear. It makes Victor remember his own cutie sitting right there, obviously in need of cuddles.  
  
Yuuri pulls away though, when he comes to sit next to him. Victor frowns, but doesn’t try to touch him again. Maybe Yuuri doesn’t like to be touched when he drinks… though Victor has lots of experience with that not being true. Maybe he just needs to get out of here. 

“Hey Yuuri, do you wanna get out of here?” Victor asks, sitting as close as he can without touching him. 

“No,” Yuuri snaps, throwing his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. “Yes. I don’t know.” 

“I think you’re a little drunk, Yuuri,” Victor teases, badly wanting to take his hand. 

“Maybe,” Yuuri says, shrugging, eyes still closed. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Victor practically has to sit on his hands to keep from grabbing Yuuri, he looks so sad he just wants to hold him and make him feel better. 

“I’m going to go dance,” Yuuri says, peeling himself off of the couch. 

Victor isn’t sure if this is an invitation or not, but then Yuuri is disappearing into the crowd. He knows he’ll be easy enough to find, once Yuuri starts dancing he’ll no doubt be the center of attention. Deciding that if Yuuri wanted Victor to dance with him he’d just ask, he goes instead to find Masumi. 

“How much did he have to drink,” he shouts over the music when he finds him in a corner with Chris. 

“I don’t know, not a lot, a few shots? I didn’t know he was such a lightweight!” 

Victor very badly wants to blame this all on Masume, but he’s the one who abandoned his boyfriend at a party. He can fix this, he decides. He’ll just shadow Yuuri until he’s sober enough to take home and he’ll grovel in the morning for abandoning him. Yuuri will probably feel really bad for getting drunk and abandoning Victor, too, he decides, so they’ll both apologize and everything will be fine. 

Except when he finds Yuuri he doesn’t feel fine. He’s in the center of a crowd and sure enough all eyes are on him. He break dances with a vaguely familiar Brazilian gymnast who’s all smiles and ruffled hair. It makes Victor’s stomach flip in an unpleasant way when the Brazilian, Arthur, if he remembers correctly, claps Yuuri on the back and Yuuri smiles at him. 

Even worse, when Victor sidles through the crowd Yuuri doesn’t smile at _him_. Victor hasn’t felt this unsure in a relationship in… well since his first relationship, which is why until now he’s tried to avoid them. He’s not generally an overthinker but now he feels like he’s missed something obvious. Did he say something wrong earlier and not realize? Did Masume say something? That doesn’t seem likely, he’s always been in Victor’s corner in the past and when he didn’t like one of his partners he’s always told Victor, never meddled. 

Yuuri turns away, his face cold, and Victor stays rooted to the spot. He just wants to go home, but if Yuuri won’t let him near him he can’t tell him that. Except he can! Victor pulls out his phone and sends Yuuri a text message with lots of emojis begging to go home, hopeful that he won’t be misinterpreted. 

It’s over an hour before Yuuri agrees to meet him at the car, and Victor feels like he’s walking to the executioner.

* * * * * * * * * * 

These people think he’s not good enough for Victor, he can see it in their eyes, in their faces. Masume hands him another shot and he throws it back, not feeling it. They can all see he’s just another fling, a stepping stone to the next, better person that Victor will end up with. They’re all laughing at him, because they all knew and he had no idea. Just showed up like he matters, like he belonged.

“Maybe you should slow down,” Masume says, but it sounds like he’s far away. 

Yuuri stumbles a few feet forward and a pretty girl smiles at him. No doubt she because she knows that he’ll be on the market soon. After Victor is done stomping all over his feelings. Why did he let himself believe that he was good enough for Victor? He grew up with his posters on his walls, obviously they’re not the same, not equals. 

There he is, so beautiful, so perfect. He’s lecturing Yuri and looks very angry and still the most gorgeous person in the room. That couch actually looks really comfortable, he decides, throwing himself down onto it. Yuri spares him a tiny scowl before focusing on whatever Victor is saying. Who cares. Tomorrow he’ll go home and these people won’t even remember him. 

Victor finally lays off of Yuri who stomps away, a tiny tantrum in human form, and Victor turns his attention onto him. It’s not fair. He should never have let Yuuri believe they could be together if he was just going to throw him away when he got bored. It’s cruel. How will he ever love anyone ever again after having Victor Nikiforov. No one can ever live up to him. Yuuri curls up, away from him. 

“Hey Yuuri, do you wanna get out of here?” Victor asks, but he doesn’t reach for him. 

“No,” Yuuri says, but then rethinks it.  
  
Maybe they should just leave. Rip the bandaid off. 

“Yes. I don’t know.” 

As long as they’re here, they’re still together. He can pretend that he doesn’t know. Pretend that Victor might really love him. 

“I think you’re a little drunk, Yuuri,” Victor says, voice teasing. 

“Maybe,” Yuuri says, because who cares. 

Drunk, sober, Victor is going to dump him in the next month or so either way. Will he want to be part of the group text? He doesn’t think so. It doesn’t sound appealing, talking about his failed relationship with other people who went through the same thing. He snorts, like a support group, he thinks. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know.” 

What a dumb question. How could he be okay? 

“I’m going to go dance,” Yuuri decides, and must say it out loud because Victor is nodding. 

Yes. Dancing. He can dance, he likes dancing. No one can say that they’re better than him at dancing. Not that it’s enough to keep Victor, but it’s not nothing. 

He dances and dances until his brain feels less fuzzy. A man follows him for a bit, asking for his number, until Yuuri ducks him in a crowd. When he pulls out his phone he has a message from Victor. His name on his screen makes his heart hurt.

**Victor**  
Can we go home, please, pretty please, please please, please. *sad cat emoji* *red heart emoji* *purple heart emoji* *praying hands emoji* 

  
Home sounds nice. He wishes he could go home, just teleport there and be done with this. He’s starting to sober up now and his head hurts. It’s slowly dawning on him that he still has to do the actual breaking up with Victor. He’ll have to be strong, he can’t let Victor convince him to stay with him. It’s better to do it now then in a month, before he can let his stupid heart get him into anymore trouble.

Victor leaves him alone on the ride home, though he keeps sneaking glances at him. Yuuri stares out the window but he can still see Victor’s reflection behind him. More than once he starts to reach over before pulling back. Maybe he won’t have to do the breaking up after all.  
  
“I have to take Makkachin out, do you want to come with?” He asks, breaking the silence as they park. 

“No thanks,” Yuuri says, trying to keep his tone even. 

Victor lets him into the apartment and leaves with Makkachin. Yuuri walks into the bedroom and starts packing his things on autopilot. He’s trying to figure out how to call a taxi when he hears Victor and Makkachin come back, the only sound Makkachin’s collar jangling. 

“Yuuri?” Victor calls out and Yuuri clears his throat from the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is much shorter than I wanted but I'm running out of daylight and it's super important to me that I post something everyday. Thank you for your patience, you're all amazing!


	24. Chapter 24

The apartment feels so quiet and empty, even though Yuuri hasn’t left yet. It feels a little bit like he has, though. He hasn’t been his normal self for hours, and it’s possible he’s starting to panic. He trusts Yuuri, he loves him, so he’s trying to be patient and wait for him to tell him what’s wrong. It’s hard, though, to know something is bothering him and not being able to do anything to help. 

Makkachin whines, sensing his distress, but he just leans down to give her a pet. He wants to tell her it’s going to be okay, but he’s not sure it is. 

“Yuuri?” He calls, and he hears Yuuri in the bedroom. 

“Hey, wait, why are you all packed?” Yuuri is sitting on the bed, his bag next to him clearly filled again with all of Yuuri’s things. 

“I think we should end this.” 

Time stops, and Victor feels like his heart is being squeezed, like his lungs can't get enough air. 

“What?” 

Victor sits heavily on the bed next to Yuuri, who flinches away but doesn’t stand. 

“This, I think we should end this. After tonight, let's not see each other anymore.” 

Victor doesn’t realize he’s crying at first, not until Yuuri is pushing his hair away and now it’s his turn to pull away. 

“Are you crying?” 

“Of course I am! Why? What did I do?”

Victor hates the needy sound of his voice, the desperation he’s no doubt broadcasting. 

Yuuri sighs like Victor’s putting him out, “you’re the one who said it was just for the banquet, it’s just getting out of hand.” 

“I can’t believe you’re being so selfish,” Victor says with anger he’s only just now feeling. 

Better to be angry than hurt, a voice whispers. He can’t let Yuuri see how much he’s hurt him, that he’s so weak. 

“I think I’m going to sleep at the airport.” 

“No! Please, don’t go!” Victor pleads, hating himself. “I mean, I can take you to the airport in the morning. That’s not safe, just stay here.” 

His phone rings in his pocket and he silences it, glad to have a distraction so Yuuri won’t have to see his face. 

“I think it would be better if I left.” 

“I can stay on the couch, if that would make you more comfortable,” Victor offers, even though all he wants to do is hold Yuuri. 

His phone rings again, it’s Yakov, and he silences it again. 

“You should answer that,” Yuuri says, standing. 

“Only if you promise to stay,” Victor says, realizing how ridiculous he says, bargaining with him. 

“Vitya…” Yuuri says, staring at his feet. 

The phone rings a third time and he growls in frustration. 

“What?!” He snaps into the phone. 

“Vitya? Where are you? Your idiot friend just called me to say Yura was hurt, where is he? Are you with him?”

“Yura’s hurt? No, I saw him earlier but… who called you?” 

Yuuri looks worried at his half of the conversation which pisses him off for some reason, so he moves into the living room. 

“Christophe, he said he couldn’t find you. Yura’s not answering his phone.” Victor notes the worry in Yakov’s voice, feeling stupid for having left his young rinkmate alone at the party. 

So stupid, getting wrapped up in his own problems. 

“I’ll find him and call you,” Victor says, hanging up before Yakov can argue. 

He’s dialing Chris’ number while Yuuri stares at him from the doorway. 

“Victor,” Chris sounds out of breath when he answers, “we’re taking Yuri to the hospital, I’m going to send you the address, meet us there.” 

“Is he okay?” He asks, but Chris has already hung up. 

A text lights up his phone and he sends it to Yakov, already grabbing his keys. 

“Yura was hurt,I don’t know what happened. I have to…” he gestures at the door, feeling so overwhelmed, “please, just promise not to leave before I come back.” 

Yuuri must realize that now isn’t the time to argue because he just nods, putting his bag on the floor. 

“Thank you,” Victor sniffles, crying again. “We’ll talk later, okay? I’m sorry, I have to go.” 

“I know, I’ll wait.” 

Victor shuts the door and really hopes Yuuri will be there when he comes back.

* * * * * * * * * * 

The hospital lights seem to dark, the doctors too loud. It takes him forever to find Yura’s room, Yakov already there. The little monster is sitting up in bed, a cast on his wrist, looking sullen.

“Vitya!” Yakov barks as soon as he sees him, “do you see this? What happened? He won’t tell me.” 

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there, Yuri what happened?” 

“Nothing,” he says, pouting. “I’m fine! It’s just a sprain! I won’t even miss any competitions. Leave me alone!” 

“Did Otabek do this? I know you follow him around like a puppy but I don’t like him, he’s too quiet.”  
  
“Fuck you,” Yuri snarls at him, “Beka would never hurt me, he’s my friend, unlike you!”

“Boys!” Yakov shouts, causing a nurse in the hall to jump. “Will someone tell me where you were?” 

Victor and Yuri pretend to be very interested in the paint. 

“Fine. You’re grounded. Both of you!”

“But I didn’t do anything!” 

“You put your arm in danger. That is my arm! You break it, it’s like you broke my arm!” 

Victor doesn’t bother arguing, Yakov must know by now that no threats will keep him from doing what he wants, anyway. 

“I mean it, Vitya. If you disobey me I am done with you! Done! You can find another coach!” 

“I have to go.” 

“You never listen!” Yakov shouts after him, before turning back to yell at Yuri some more.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Yuuri hears Victor come home, but he pretends to be asleep. He’s exhausted from crying, anyway. He doesn’t have the energy to argue with him. He’s quiet as he gets ready for bed, rustling through his drawers, the sink running in the bathroom, and then silence. Yuuri clenches his eyes closed to keep from looking to see where Victor is.

A minute or so goes by and then he feels the mattress dip and then hears Victor slowly lay down. Half of him wants Victor to pull him close, to hold him so it hurts less. The other half knows it will only make everything so much worse. Luckily or not, depending on how you look at it, Victor keeps to his side. 

Yuuri doesn’t sleep, he can’t, he feels like something inside of him is broken. He listens to Victor breathe, he stays awake a long time, but finally it evens off. It’s near dawn when he slowly eases out from under the sheets, picking up his bag and putting on his shoes. Makkachin watches him, head on her paws, as he steals across the apartment to the door. He pauses there, torn with indecision. 

He’d brought Victor’s gift to him, the red jacket that had seemed so thoughtful and sweet just a few days ago when he’d packed it. He’d planned to wear it to bed last night after Victor had confessed the thought of him in the jacket and nothing else was at the top of his bucket list, and it seems so silly now. He wonders if the others had had time to model their gifts in the bedroom. 

He wants to keep it, a reminder that Victor was his for a brief, shining moment. He knows that it will hurt every time he looks at it, but he wants just the same. To torture himself with until the pain dulls, and then maybe to put in a box to find when he’s older, when the memories might be almost fond. He grips it tightly in his arms, hugging it to his chest, and then leaves it on a chair.


	25. Chapter 25

He considers moving. He honest to God considers selling his apartment and just moving. Yuuri was here for less than two whole days and yet the whole place haunts him. He can’t look at the kitchen without seeing Yuuri’s hands washing dishes in the sink, can’t sit on the couch without remembering Yuuri sleeping there, and the bedroom, the bedroom is the worst of all. 

Mila talks him out of it, tells him to stop being a drama queen, it’s a gorgeous apartment and it’ll be a pain in the ass to pack up. Those are all true things. She also tells him that if he’s so torn up about his breakup to **do** something about, but what does she know. 

Yuri glowers at him at the rink, his skating slightly off with his sprained wrist. He’s angrier than normal, which is saying something for the little feral Russian, and won’t speak to Victor at all if he’s not forced. 

Georgi is a refuge, he lets Victor come over and cry whenever he likes. Sometimes he cries, too, and sometimes he just hands Victor the tissues or the alcohol Yakov can never know about. Time passes slowly this way, and Victor keeps expecting the pain to dull, but it doesn’t. 

He drafts countless messages to send, but never presses the button. If Yuuri was so desperate to be away from him, why should he drag him back? Lots of people want to date him, he’s desirable, he’s a _catch_. Except he doesn’t feel like one these days, he feels gross and old and pathetic. 

On Valentines Day he gets messages from old lovers and new hopefuls, but nothing from Yuuri. All of his friends ditch him, even Georgi, so he sits in his apartment with Makkachin eating chocolates. 

Yakov shouts at him more at the rink but doesn’t threaten to stop coaching him anymore. Probably because Victor has no reason to break his “grounding”, nowhere to go, no one to see. His routines feel lackluster, and even Yuri has started to speak to him again to taunt him. His cast has come off and his own routines are almost back to normal so he loves telling Victor he’s officially too old to be relevant anymore. He has no sympathy for Victor’s moping and has joined Mila’s team in telling him that if he doesn’t want to do something about it he should just shut up. Rude. 

Finally everyone gets so sick of him they stage an intervention, which Mila claims is not an intervention but a gathering of close friends that he is obligated to attend.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Life goes back to normal fairly quickly for Yuuri. He works at the onsen, he doesn’t avoid Mari anymore, because he’s too tired to bother, and he keeps busy. He spends every free moment skating or running or just _moving_ so he doesn’t have to think about Victor.

He’s almost got the quad salchow down and wishes he could call Yuri for tips, but instead he looks for a new coach. Minako lets him pick up a few shifts at the bar and pretends like there was never any animosity between them. The biggest difference is the amount of times he reaches for his phone to call or text Victor, and he feels shame and regret every single time he finds it in his hand. 

More than once he convinces himself he made a mistake, that he should have given Victor a chance to explain, that he could still call and talk this out, but he doesn’t. Victor never reaches out, he doesn’t call or text or even like the few photos Phichit forces him to put on Instagram. 

No, it seems like Yuuri wasn’t wrong after all, Victor was just using him as a distraction and would have gotten bored with him sooner or later. 

He hasn’t told his parents yet about the breakup, but he’ll have to soon. They’re expecting Victor to show up at Mari’s wedding, and he doesn’t want to overshadow her day with his relationship drama. Especially since he’s never _had_ relationship drama before, no doubt his mom will make a big deal out of his first breakup. 

Today he’s watching the triplets and then helping Minako make mason jars for wedding place settings at the bar before spending a few hours in the rink, alone. Not a bad day, really, all things considered. Maybe if he tells Minako first she’ll have an idea of how to break the news to his parents and sister. Maybe she’ll even tell Mari herself! 

Heartened by the idea, he sets off to Yuuko’s to teach them how to braid hair while their parents slip off to have a few hours alone. His phone goes off several times while they take turns braiding each other’s hair, and then trying to braid Yuuri’s. He ignores it, thinking it’s just Phichit again with new date ideas, he’s determined to set Yuuri up with someone new before the wedding. Yuuri is not on board. 

So he doesn’t check his phone and heads over to see Minako, who’s got the mason jars all lined up on the bar looking a little bit lost. She’d seen the idea on a blog and loved it, but now it’s looking a bit more daunting than she anticipated. Yuuri helps her make an assembly line type plan and they get to filling out names on little stickers that they adhere to the front of the jars. 

“So, Yuuri, how are things going with you and Victor?” Minako says after they’ve been working in silence for several minutes. 

“Uh,” Yuuri stalls. 

He knows the plan was to tell Minako so she could help him break the news to Mari, but now the idea of telling someone they broke up seems terrifying. He did the dumping, but who’s going to believe that? People don’t break up with men like Victor, especially not people who look like Yuuri. 

“It’s uh, you know, long distance,” he hedges, pretending to study the guest list. 

“Mmm, I don’t think I could do long distance.” 

Yuuri nods and hopes that she’ll let it go. 

“You know….” 

Minako is writing the names on the stickers without looking up, but Yuuri isn’t fooled. He’s known her almost his entire life, he knows that tone of voice. He waits her out and hopes she’ll drop it, a foolish hope, but one he clings to. 

Minako clears her throat when he doesn’t ask what it is she ‘knows’, before continuing on like she never paused. 

“Mari says she hasn’t seen you two talking lately, no texting at the table or late night phone calls.” 

“I didn’t know Mari cared,” Yuuri deflects. 

“Oh Yuuri, that’s not fair. Of course she cares. She was so hurt about you not coming home or calling because she cares, and she’s worried about you now because she cares. She’s your sister, she loves you.” 

Yuuri feels a bit choked up, he wishes Mari could tell him those things herself. 

“Did he break up with you?” 

“What? I couldn’t have broken up with him? I did, you know, I dumped Victor, not the other way around.” 

He knows he sounds ridiculous, like a child throwing a tantrum, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t think he wants to talk about this, after all. 

“Hey, no, Yuuri, I didn’t mean it like that. What did he do? Do we need to kill him? I’m always trying to get Mari to travel more, we could make it part of the honeymoon! Stop off in Russia, kill Victor, do some sightseeing…” 

Yuuri chokes on a laugh, wiping tears from his face, feeling stupid. 

“No, he didn’t do anything, I just realized it wasn’t going anywhere it was better to end it before it went too far.” 

Mari is quiet as she sticks a few more labels on jars and Yuuri isn’t sure if it’s her ‘thinking’ quiet or her ‘composing a lecture’ quiet.

“Why wasn’t it going anywhere?” 

“Victor doesn’t really do long term relationships.” 

“And that’s what you wanted?” 

“I don’t know, I guess.” 

“Well, if you broke up with him it must have been.” 

Yuuri shrugs, it feels stupid to admit that he wanted a future with Victor, like he was duped somehow. Which isn’t fair, Victor never promised him forever, he just hadn’t known the relationship had come with an expiration date. 

“Did you ask him if he wanted to try something more serious and he said no?” 

“I don’t really want to talk about this, if that’s okay.” 

“Okay. Who keeps calling you?” 

“Phichit, he wants to find me a date for the wedding.” 

Yuuri rolls his eyes and starts pouring sand into the mason jars he’s finished labeling. 

“Hmm, I don’t know that my wedding would be a good first date,” Minako says, closing her marker. 

“I already told him no, I don’t really want to date anyone right now.” 

“Well why not? If you’re looking for a more serious relationship you have to start somewhere.” 

Yuuri takes a deep breath and Minako holds up her hand. 

“I know, I know, you don’t want to talk about this either.”

Yuuri smiles in gratitude and they continue working in companionable silence. Minako walks him out after they’re finished, but not before offering to let him work a shift at the bar. Yuuri turns her down, desperate for the solitude of the ice. 

His phone has died by the time he makes it to the rink, so he puts it on a charger behind the desk before heading in. A month ago he might have skated one of Victor’s routines, to find clarity or inspiration, to help rediscover his love of skating. Now they’re tainted, another casualty of their time together. 

He doesn’t bother turning on his phone when he gets home, finally tired enough to get some sleep. He knows his body will wake him up earlier than he’d like and he’ll have to start the whole process over again, moving, always moving to keep distracted. He might as well take what rest he can find.


	26. Chapter 26

He needs a drink. Or possibly for someone to just knock him over the head until he passes out. Really, anything would be better than sitting here while his friends judge him for being dumped. 

Mila has placed him on the couch and Georgi is staring at him but not talking. Mila says they have to wait for everyone else to arrive, and keeps watching him to make sure he doesn’t bolt. 

Yuri shows up almost ten minutes later and rolls his eyes when Mila scolds him, throwing himself into an armchair. 

“Will you tell me what’s going on now?” Victor asks, knocking Yuri’s feet off the coffee table. 

“No, hold on,” Mila says, bringing out her ipad. 

She places it on the coffee table facing Victor, and Chris and Masumi’s faces fill the screen. 

“What? Not you, too,” Victor whines and Yuri laughs. 

“Victor, we all love you,” Mila starts and Victor groans loudly. 

“But you’ve gotta snap out of it, man,” Chris says. 

“Snap out of it? What are you talking about? I’m _fine_ , everything is fine, so you can all stop worrying now.” 

“Victor… did Yuuri tell you why he…” Masumi says, without finishing the sentence. 

Dumped him, Victor says in his head, Yuuri dumped him. 

“He said it was ‘getting out of hand’,” Victor says, having replayed the scene in his mind countless times, “he didn’t like how serious I was, I guess. Or how clingy I am. Or… who knows. Maybe he just didn’t like me!” 

Masume and Chris share a look on screen which is so unfair. Shoving their relationship in his face, some friends they are. 

“And Yura didn’t tell you… anything?” 

“Why would Yura tell me anything? What are you talking about?”

Victor looks over at him and he avoids Victor’s gaze, fiddling with his hoodie strings. 

“Yuri, did you have something to tell Victor?” 

Yuri shrugs, pulling his feet onto the chair and hugging them against his chest. 

“Just that your stupid asshole ex’s were at the party,” he says sullenly. 

“So what?!” Victor cries. 

“Victor we’re just concerned about you,” Mila says soothingly, “you’re not doing well at practice, you’re not eating enough, and, to be frank, you aren’t showering enough, either.” 

“Fine, I’ll shower and eat more, happy?!” 

“Victor… I’m really sorry, I didn’t know that Yuuri would break up with you or I’d have said something,” Masume says on the screen. 

“Said something about what?”

“Well, you know when you sent me to look for him so you could yell at Yuri?” 

“I did not yell at Yuri, I spoke to him about his choices,” Victor says primly. 

“Right, well while you were doing that Yuuri was in the kitchen, with a few of your um, past conquests. I only heard a little bit, but it sounded like they, or well, Ana really, was telling him about your past relationships and I think Yuuri might have gotten the idea that you were going to break up with him.” 

Victor stares at the screen, unblinking. Ana, how he regrets Ana, manipulative and cunning as she was beautiful. 

“Yuuri… broke up with me… so I wouldn’t break up with him first?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t know him that well, but he seemed really upset. I thought maybe a drink would help but then he had a few and then, well…” Masume trails off. 

“Wait, what does Yura have to do with this?” 

“I may have mentioned they were there, I don’t know how much he knew, I kind of assumed he would have told you, though.” 

“Yura?” 

“Like I’m your mom, whatever, he was too good for you anyway, I’m glad he dumped you. We all know that you’d have broken up with him by now anyway if he hadn’t.” 

“But I wouldn’t have! It was different!” Victor protests, and all of his friends look at him like they don’t believe him but they’ll pretend if it’ll make him feel better. “No! I…. I loved him, I wanted something real, I wanted… maybe forever. He was different. He understood me, he was…” 

“Victor,” Chris says gently, “did you tell him that?”

* * * * * * * * * * 

Mari ambushes him in the morning, standing in the hall outside of his bedroom. Yuuri jumps a little, startled, and she smirks.

“Did you really break up with Victor?” 

Yuuri blinks slowly at her, wondering if he can’t just go back to bed, because this is just too much for eight in the morning. 

“Why?”

“What do you mean why, I should be asking you that. I mean, I didn’t like him but you seemed… happy?” 

“I’m still happy,” Yuuri argues, leaning against the wall, not wanting to bring the conversation into the common area.  
  
Mari scoffs and Yuuri fights the urge to stick his tongue out at her. 

“If Minako broke up with me because she thought I was going to break up with her, I’d kill her.” 

“Okay. Well, Victor doesn’t seem to care.” 

“Really?” Mari cocks a disbelieving eyebrow at him. 

“Yes, really, can I go get ready now?” 

“When’s the last time you checked your phone?” 

Yuuri is thrown by the change in topic, so it takes him a moment to answer. 

“I don’t know, yesterday morning? Why?”

“You’re hopeless. If he makes you happy you should just tell him that.” 

“Who said he made me happy? Why does everyone assume I need Victor to be happy?” 

“Just talk to him. And don’t bring a different date to my wedding. Tell Phichit I’ll kill him if he sends a different plus one.” 

“I… will pass that on.” 

“Good. Call your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Yuuri yells at her retreating back but she ignores him. 

Yuuri grumbles as he goes back into his room to get his phone to warn Phichit his sister has plans to murder him. It takes him a few minutes to find it in his bag where he left it the night before, and he drops it when he sees the amount of notifications filling the screen. 

What happened? What did he miss? Does he want to know? He considers putting the phone back where he found it and pretending he didn’t see, but then decides to do the adult thing and just clear the notifications. 

First up, he opens his voicemail, where he has messages from 5 unknown numbers and one from… Victor? Did Mari call Victor when Minako told her about the breakup? He wouldn’t put it past her. He deletes the ones from unknown numbers right away, too many bad experiences with weird fans, and then hovers his finger over Victor’s. 

After a few seconds he opens his call app instead and dials Phichit. 

“Hey Yuuri, what’s up!” Phichit greets him, sounding happy and carefree. 

“Victor called me.”

“What? What did he say? Was it a drunk dial? Are you guys back together?” 

“I… he left a message and I haven’t listened to it yet.”

“Yuuri. I’m hanging up now.”

“No, wait! Mari wanted me to tell you that if you set me up with a stranger for her wedding she’ll murder you.”

“Pft, what are the odds that Mari will ever fly here.” 

“Well, you might compete in Japan and she’d only have to drive, then.”

“Right, no more dates. Listen to his message, Yuuri!” 

Phichit hangs up before he can protest and Yuuri glares at his phone. Really he should get ready so he can help Mari in the kitchen. No, he’s being a coward. He hits play on the voicemail. 

_Hey Yuuri, it’s me. Well, you probably knew that. I really need to talk to you, can you call me back, please? I don’t care what time it is, I’m keeping my phone on me. I think I… Just call me, okay?_

Very vague, very frustrating, and of course it makes Yuuri want to call back right away. Is Victor okay? Did he get hurt? Why would he want to talk to Yuuri? He pulls up the world clock and sees that it’s almost 2:30am where Victor is. Would it be cruel to call now? Should he set an alarm and do it later? 

No. Better to get it over with. Besides, if Victor doesn’t answer he can just leave a message and maybe ask Victor to text him. It’s easier to ignore a text. 

The phone rings three times, Yuuri’s heart is in his throat, his fingers crossed that Victor won’t pick up. So of course, he does. 

“Yuuri?” Victor’s voice is husky from sleep and Yuuri feels tears prick his eyes. 

He’s missed this, missed him, hearing his voice in his ear. He clears his throat hoping he won’t sound as upset as he is. 

“Is everything okay? I just got your message.” 

Yuuri hears Victor moving around on the other end of the phone, probably sitting up, he guesses. 

“No, I mean yes, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just really needed to talk to you.” 

There’s silence on the other end for a few long seconds and Yuuri wonders if he hasn’t hung up. 

“I miss you,” Victor’s voice says, crackling like he’s about to cry. 

“Victor, what do you need,” Yuuri asks, feeling so tired all of the sudden. 

He can’t deal with this, he can’t handle Victor getting lonely and calling him, it’s not fair. 

“Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant to say. Um, Masumi told me what happened at the party, or what he saw I guess, of what happened at the party, and I wanted to explain.” 

“It’s okay, it’s done with, you don’t need to do that. I actually need to…” 

Victor cuts him off before he can come up with an excuse, “no, I need to. Please, Yuuri?” 

Yuuri sighs, rubbing his forehead where a headache is already forming, “okay, I’m listening.” 

“Thank you.” Victor seems to be organizing his thoughts, before he starts. “I know they must have been a big shock. I didn’t know if they’d be there and I definitely didn’t think you’d be alone with them. Not that it’s an excuse. But Yuuri, they’re all in the past. None of them mean anything to me anymore, I mean, I’m friends with some of them, but we’re not… I’m not _with_ them, and I know Ana can be cruel, she’s always been that way, I’m so sorry for whatever she said, I’m so sorry for everything.” 

Yuuri waits a moment to see if he’s finished, before answering. “Okay.” 

“Okay?”

“Okay. Is there anything else you wanted?” 

“Yuuri, no, wait, I… I don’t know what they said to you, but you can’t listen to them. Please, just tell me how to fix this. I’m sorry I was too proud to argue with you when you left, I didn’t know… I just thought you didn’t want me anymore, and I was hurt so I lashed out. I’m sorry, please Yuuri.” 

“Victor, stop. I don’t care that they were there, I don’t care if you talk to them, I care… I care that you lied to me, that you said you’d never had any real relationships, but Victor, those people thought they were having real relationships with you! Just like me! And you just dumped them when you got bored with them. I didn’t… I don’t want to be in a relationship with an expiration date. I’m sorry, I can’t, I can’t do this, I have to go.” 

“No, Yuuri, please! Wait! I’m sorry! I didn’t feel that way about you, I didn’t, and I didn’t lie! I told all of those people that I wasn’t any good at commitment and they all wanted to date anyway, and it was fun until it wasn’t, but you, you weren’t like that. I didn’t lie to you, Yuuri, I never told you I didn’t want more, did I?” 

“Well I assume it would have stopped being fun with me, too. Look, Victor, you don’t need to explain it to me. It’s okay. I forgive you, I absolve you, you did nothing wrong, can I go?” 

Victor sniffles into the phone and Yuuri stands up straighter and stares at the ceiling to keep himself from crying, too. 

“Can’t you give me another chance? I didn’t want to break up, Yuuri. I wanted to try, I lo…”

“No,” Yuuri cuts him off, “you don’t get to say that over the phone, it’s not, look, I’ll think about what you said, okay?” 

“But I’ve never said it to anyone else, please Yuuri, you have to believe me. Masume said there was a group text, which makes me feel really gross, but you could ask them. What I had with you was different. I swear. I’m sorry I was too stupid to tell you, please give me a chance to prove it.” 

“I need time, Victor, okay?” 

“Okay,” Victor’s voice sounds very small, “will you maybe call me? If you need to know more? I know… I know we got into this mess because we didn’t communicate and I don’t want that to happen again. And I really do miss you, Yuuri. Just every once in a while?” 

“I’ll think about it.” 

Victor sniffles again and Yuuri feels horribly guilty. He doesn’t want Victor to be miserable. Or, well, he maybe wanted Victor to be miserable enough to call him when this first happened, but not now. He doesn’t know if he can go through all of this again, and he doesn’t want to make any promises he can’t keep. He can’t do that Victor. 

“Go to sleep, Victor.” 

“Okay, will you at least text me? Or… can I text you? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

“I guess.” 

“Okay. Goodnight, Yuuri.” 

Yuuri sits on his bed, staring at the wall, until Mari comes back to yell at him. He doesn’t know what to do. Is it worth it to try again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Turkey Day to my American friends!


	27. Chapter 27

Chris and Masume help him decide that one text a day should be an acceptable amount. It’s a far cry from the dozens he used to send, but not too much that Yuuri will feel pressured or uncomfortable. Some of them should be silly things, just to keep him in Yuuri’s thoughts, Mila decides, but some should be real things, things that should have been said all along. 

The first day he sends a picture of Makkachin on her walk with the text, ‘I’ve been giving Makkachin shorter walks lately, so today I’m making it up to her with a really long one. Hope you had a good day.” 

The second day he sends a selfie from the rink, with Yakov red faced in the background, shouting at a bored looking Yuri. “Good morning Yuuri! I’m glad it’s not me for once.” 

The third day he sends no photo, just a message, “I can’t sleep very well anymore. I’m sorry I let you think you didn’t matter to me more than anything else,” and then feels bad about it in the morning. 

The fourth day, Yuuri finally responds when Victor sends a short video of his choreography from practice with, “your footwork is off at 1:32, pull your left leg in tighter.” Victor lets out a little cheer that earns him some weird looks. 

Yuuri responds on and off in the following weeks, usually it’s small replies and to the silly things Victor sends, like photos of his life. Sometimes, though, sometimes Yuuri responds to Victor’s small confessions.

**Victor**  
I hate that I didn’t tell you that I was bad with relationships, I just wanted to be good in this one. 

**Yuuri**  
I think we both could have done better at talking to each other. You should get some sleep. 

Victor figures this counts as a win. He doesn’t want to fight with Yuuri, but he really does believe if Yuuri had just _asked_ him, he could have explained before things got this out of control. Or maybe, if he’d been honest in the beginning, that he’s wanted to be with Yuuri for over a year since he saw him at the last banquet, drunk and silly, Yuuri might’ve known that he was serious about him. He just hadn’t wanted to look like a crazy stalker, or like some spoiled playboy who was no good with relationships. So the next day, when Yuuri should be asleep, he decides to lay those secrets on the table.

**Victor**  
I know you think I can’t do long term relationships but I wasn’t with anyone for over a year, hoping you’d call me. *image attached* (Yuuri dancing with Victor, with a tie on his head, shirt unbuttoned. 

**Yuuri**  
Where is that picture from? Why is there a tie on my head? Is that photoshopped?!

**Victor**  
You really don’t remember inviting me to your parents' Onsen at last year's Grand Prix banquet? I’m hurt. Also that explains why you never called.

Victor’s phone lights up in his hand and he smiles, delighted.

“Yes?” He answers. 

“Victor, I, explain! We never talked, let alone danced, before this year! Where did you, how…?” 

“I thought maybe you didn’t remember, when I asked you to be my date this year, but I thought you might just be embarrassed, I have more pictures if you want.” 

“Ahh! No! Why? I can’t believe, what did I say? No, don’t tell me!” 

“Chris might have video, hold on, I can text him.”

“No! Victor no!” 

Victor laughs while Yuuri panics, things feeling more normal than they have in a long while. 

“Did you mean it?” Yuuri asks quietly, after he’s calmed down. 

“Mean what?” 

“Nevermind.”

“Did I mean that I fell for you that night and waited for a chance to see you again on the off chance that you’d give me a shot?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Yes, Yuuri, I meant it.” 

There’s a long pause and Victor wishes he could see Yuuri’s face, know what he’s thinking. 

“So what does Chris have video of?”

“Oh you’re going to love it, there was a pole involved!”

“No! I don’t believe you.”

* * * * * * * * * * 

Being friends with Victor, which is what it feels like lately, is almost as good as being in a relationship. Victor sends him a message everyday but Yuuri never knows when it’s going to come. He feels guilty when, after a week or so of messages, he realizes he’s checking his phone constantly. He could just send a message first, but he’s not sure yet… what he wants with Victor, and he doesn’t want to lead him on. He knows Victor would read into Yuuri texting first, so he doesn’t, even when he really wants to.

Wedding planning is in full swing, Mari forces him to come to all of her fittings for her dress and makes him buy a tuxedo. He thinks he looks like a penguin in it. Minako recruits him for help with all the little diy things she decided she wanted to do herself when they first started planning, and is now being buried under. Both of them bring up Victor constantly. 

“So you’re saying you got white girl wasted.” 

“What? What does that mean?” 

“You’re so sheltered, you got super drunk and acted like your dad? And Victor thought it was _cute_? No offense, but I’ve seen your dad drunk, and I don’t see the appeal.” 

“Well my mom obviously did,” Yuuri counters, feeling embarrassed. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have told Minako about this, but he feels so confused now. He’d told Phichit and he’d started calling around collecting all the photos and videos from everyone, and wasn’t that just terrifying? Most of them still had them! Then he sent them to Yuuri and made him look at them while on camera so he could see his reactions. It appears the joke about a dance off hadn’t been a joke at all. 

“So Victor is your mom and you’re your dad? Does that mean you’re getting back together?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“But you’re blushing! Is he coming to the wedding?” 

“I… I don’t know if I’m ready to be in a relationship right now. With anyone. When I thought Victor was going to dump me…”

“And you dumped him instead...”

“Yeah, well, it was too much. If I let him back in, I don’t know if I’d survive it again.” 

“Then don’t break up,” Minako says it easily, like it’s no big deal, something he can control. 

“I don’t think that’s the way it works.” 

“If you say so.” 

Then later, Mari corners him again on his way home, to give him her two cents. 

“Minako says you’re being a dumbass about Victor.” She says, taking a drag off her cigarette. 

“You don’t even like him!”

“Yeah, well, he showed up right when you got home, it was like you couldn’t bear to be alone with us, and you hadn’t even told us about him! Sorry if I didn’t jump right onto the Victor Nikiforov train.” 

“First of all, we weren’t dating when he showed up, or we were and I didn't know? It doesn’t matter. Second, I didn’t invite him, or at least, not on purpose, Phichit hijacked my Insta, and third… you loved Victor when we competed together.”

“I loved watching him skate, Yuuri, not… I don’t _know_ him, he just seemed really high maintenance from his interviews, but if _you_ like him, that’s all that matters. Do you think I’d have broken up with Minako if you’d said you didn’t like it?” 

“I don’t know, would you have? Is that why you didn’t tell me?” 

“Yuuri… do you like him?” 

“Yes.” 

“And how would you feel if you decided that it wasn’t worth getting your heart broken over, and he fell in love with someone else?” 

“Pretty bad, I guess.” 

“Well then I think you’ve got your answer,” she shrugs. 

“But what if i’m not good enough?” 

“Did he say that?” Mari flicks her cigarette to her side, looking ready to murder someone, “if he said that I’ll kill him.” 

“No! No, he thinks I’m perfect, it’s just everyone else I’m worried about.”

“Screw everyone else, Yuuri. If he likes you and you like him, none of that matters.” 

“Maybe.” 

Then, rounding things out, Phichit calls him a few days later after practice. 

“Yuuri! I miss you!”

“I miss you, too, Phichit.” 

“Uh huh, back to having no time for your best friend now that you and Victor are getting back together.” 

“Who said we’re getting back together?” 

“Sorry, sorry, I thought you’d come to your senses, I apologize, so you just don’t have time for me because…?” 

“I have time for you!” 

“Mmm hmm, and why didn’t you answer my texts yesterday?” 

“I forgot!”

“Because you were…?”

“Busy!” 

“With your boytoy?”

“He’s not my boy toy, we’re just friends!” 

Phicht lets out an aggrieved sigh. 

“A friend you want to bang?” 

“Phichit!”

“So you’re fine being just ‘friends’ with Victor?” 

“Did you just use air quotes?” 

“Did you just imply you’re fine not tapping that ass?”

“Phichit!” 

Phichit laughs but obviously feels no remorse. Yuuri won’t dignify that question with an answer, though, if he’s being honest…being Victor’s friend is amazing, but he really misses the more of it all. The touching when they’re together, the intimacy of their conversations late at night, the knowing no one else in the world gets to be with him like he does. 

“Just let me know if you decide you really don’t want to get back together, I’ll start sending you options again.”

“People are not options!”

“Yes they are! What do you think Tinder is for!” 

“Are you on Tinder?” Yuuri asks, scandalized. 

“Now who’s being lewd!”

Yuuri wishes Phichit were here, so he could throw something at him. 

“How’s your routine going?” 

“Changing the subject, but I can deal with that, it’s going great, thanks, how’s the new coach working out?” 

Phichit talks to him for over an hour, and Yuuri tries not to spend the entire time thinking about what he’s going to do about Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end draws near!


	28. Chapter 28

Mari and Minako’s wedding is in a week and Victor is definitely not freaking out. Nope, nothing to see here, just a well adjusted adult going about his life. It’s not like if Yuuri doesn’t come around before then that he never will, it’s not some sort of finish line. That would be stupid. And it’s not like he’d take anyone else. Even if he had maybe, not that he was looking or anything, saw Phichit discreetly asking around on certain individual’s instagram pages what they were doing that weekend. _Even if_ , it didn’t mean anything. Certainly not that Yuuri had recruited his friend in a quest to find a plus one for his sister’s wedding. 

So when Mila asks what crawled up his ass, he, of course, has no idea what she’s talking about. 

“I’m fine. Everything is fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Maybe I’m just stressed about, you know, competing.” 

“Victor, you’re never stressed about competing, it’s one of the worst things about you.” 

“Hey!” 

“Is it Yuuri? Is he still stringing you along?”

“That’s not what he’s doing at all! We’re just taking things slow.” 

“So you told him how you feel and he…?” 

“Said he needed time. Which is fine. Everyone needs time sometimes.” 

“That’s very adult of you!”

“Thank you.” Victor pauses, wanting to leave it at that, before bursting out with, “but how much time, do you think? I mean, you date people. I’m sure someone has needed time before, should I be checking in to see if enough time has passed? Time isn’t the same as space, right? Georgi said Anya wanted space, but Yuuri’s just asking for time, that’s better, right?” 

Mila bursts out laughing, shaking her head, which Victor thinks is rude. She doesn’t have to make fun of him just because he doesn’t have any experience with this kind of thing! 

“You’ll be fine, Vitka, I’m sure he’ll come around soon.” 

Victor really hopes so, not that he wouldn’t wait for Yuuri for as long as he needs, it’s just the not knowing that’s killing him. 

“Come on, I’ll buy you lunch,” Mila says, pulling him across the ice. 

As they’re pulling off their skates Victor’s phone starts to ring. 

“It’s Yuuri!” He gasps, trying to walk away with one skate on and one off. 

“Victor!” Mila yells, laughing, “be careful! Don’t trip!”

* * * * * * * * * * 

Knowing what you want to do and doing it are two very different things, Yuuri is finding. It’s like with skating, he knows, in theory, how to land a quad salchow, but once he’s in the air it’s an entirely different matter. He has to stick this landing.

Victor has been beyond patient with him. He hasn’t gotten upset or pressured him at all, and even when their conversations trend toward the more intimate side of things, he doesn’t try to manipulate Yuuri into agreeing to get back together. Honestly, it’s almost like his family and friends are pestering him more than Victor. 

He’d had a mild freak out that Victor not asking incessantly meant he wasn’t as interested in getting back together as he’d said, but then Phichit had verbally smacked him over the head for getting upset with Victor for respecting his boundaries. Which was fair. He can’t tell Victor he doesn’t want to be pushed into it, and then get mad at him for not pushing. 

So, he’s going to do the wooing. If this is really what he wants, and he thinks it is, then the ball is in his court. Victor might be better at grand gestures and romantic proclamations, but he can do this.

He knows Victor can be just as insecure as he is, and he needs to make sure that he knows that Yuuri means it. He’s all in. The things he wants to convey are big things, like that he knows he can trust Victor, and that he’ll do better communicating when something bothers him, and that he won’t jump to conclusions _because_ he trusts Victor. These do not seem to be things that can be said over the phone or in a text message, even a really long one. 

He must be putting off “I think I should flee the country to tell my ex boyfriend I love him and want to get back together” vibes, because Mari corners him and tells him in no uncertain terms that if he isn’t there for her wedding she will literally flay him alive. Like, tie him up and peel the skin from his bones. She is very descriptive and convincing, so Yuuri promises he’d never, ever, think of missing her wedding. 

And then he gets on a plane, anway.

* * * * * * * * * * 

“Yuuri? Sorry, hold on, I’m,” Victor hops on his unskated foot and tries to get his other leg high enough without dropping the phone, “don’t hang up.”

The phone clatters to the floor and Victor winces, but promptly sits down so he can tug the skate off. Mila laughs behind him but doesn’t come to help. Victor spares a moment to glare at her as he picks up his phone and climbs back to his feet. 

“Yuuri? Are you there? I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I was taking my skates off, and I had one on, and, sorry, I dropped you,” Victor gives an embarrassed chuckle. 

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Yuuri answers, and Victor breathes a sigh of relief. “Actually, um. Well.”

“Is everything okay?” 

Is Yuuri breaking up with him? Well, not breaking up with him, but deciding not to date him at all? He sounds so awkward and stilted, not at all like he normally talks. 

“Yeah, I kind of have a problem I was hoping you could help me out with?” 

“Sure, yes, of course, what is it?” Victor asks, hoping it’s not ‘get lost forever’. 

“Well… I told my parents I was seeing someone.”

Victor’s heart is in his throat, Yuuri was seeing someone? Who? 

“And now they’re expecting me to have a date for the wedding.” 

And so he’s calling to ask permission to bring someone else? One of the people Phichit was talking to online? 

“So I was wondering…”

Wondering what? If he’s okay with that? What’s he supposed to say, yes Yuuri, it’s fine if you take someone else to your sister’s wedding, I’ll wait. 

“Would you be my date for the wedding?” 

“What?” Victor breathes out, completely thrown. 

He’s been dealing in worst case scenarios for so long, which is so unlike him, that he’s caught off guard, and it takes his brain a minute to catch up. And then he’s laughing. 

“Yuuri! I see what you did! You scared me!” 

Yuuri laughs, too, on the other end of the phone. 

“So…” Yuuri says, waiting. 

“Oh! Yes! Of course! Wait, am I your fake date or your real date? I have to get plane tickets! When should I leave?” 

“Yes?”

“YES!” 

“Um, would it be okay if I came in?” 

“If you came in? Where? What are you talking about?” 

“Well, I planned to ask you in the locker room, but the doors to the rink are locked?” 

“Wait, you’re here? Like here, in Russia, here?” 

“Yes?”

Victor, forgetting he’s just in socks, takes off running for the door, the cold concrete slapping against his feet. Throwing open the door, Yuuri yelps into the phone and jumps back as he comes barreling through. 

He picks him up and twirls him in the air before pulling him into the building. 

“You’re here!!” Victor shouts, hugging Yuuri. 

“Victor,” Yuuri says, voice muffled against his shoulder where he’s holding him, “I can’t breathe.” 

“Oh!” Victor lets him go sheepishly, but then reaches out a hand to touch his arm, not believing his eyes. 

“Surprise?” 

Yuuri hunches his shoulders a bit, looking uncertain, as if Victor is going to be upset with him. 

“Surprise! This is the best surprise ever! Did you mean it? You want me to come to your sister’s wedding?”

“Yes and… I wanted to know if…” Yuuri bites his lip, looking up at him through his eyelashes, “if you would be my boyfriend?” 

His cheeks are adorably pink, and he winces a bit as he says it, but it’s still the best confession he’s ever received. 

“Of course, of course I would Yuuri, I lo…” Victor stops, “am I allowed to say it now?” 

He grins when Yuuri nods. 

“I love you! I love you and I’ve never felt this way before, and I’m so sorry about everything before, and I promise to do better, I promise.” 

“I…” Yuuri looks at his feet for a second before taking a deep breath and looking Victor in the eyes, “I love you, too, and I’m sorry for making you wait and for not trusting you. I’ll do better, too.” 

Victor doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so he just pulls Yuuri in for another hug. 

“I missed you,” he says, petting Yuuri’s hair. 

Yuuri, for his part, is being a really good sport about his stage five clinger status. He knows he needs to back up, give his boyfriend, his _boyfriend_!!, some space, but he doesn’t want to let go. He gives one last, good squeeze and pulls away, only for Yuuri to pull him back. 

“I missed you, too,” Yuuri croaks, and Victor realizes he’s crying. “Are you not wearing shoes?” 

Victor looks down at his feet and starts laughing, his whole body shaking while he holds Yuuri. 

“I told you! I was taking off my skates when you called!” 

Yuuri laughs, too, before finally pulling away, wiping his face on his sleeve. 

“Well, lets go get your shoes!” 

“How long are you here for?” Victor asks, holding Yuuri’s hand as they walk back to get his shoes. 

“A few hours.”

“A few hours?!” 

“I can’t risk a later flight getting delayed, Mari will literally roast me alive.”

Victor remembers Yuuri’s sister, a sinister looking woman, he thinks she might actually do it. 

“Well can you come back to my place and I’ll pack and come back with you?”

“Can you? Won’t Yakov be mad?” 

“We just won’t tell him.” 

“I think he’ll notice you’re not here, Victor.” 

Victor just shrugs. He’s been good for ages, he has to have some brownie points saved up. Besides, there’s nothing big this week or even this month, it’s not like he’s blowing anything off besides practice. 

“Do you not want me to come back with you right now? Would I be underfoot? It’s okay, you can tell me, I can just come later.” 

“No!” Yuuri protests, and Victor smiles. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” 

“Oh, I only want to get in trouble with you, Yuuri.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought the last chapter was a good stopping point but then decided to add a tiny epilogue. I really hate writing weddings, which I found out last year, so it's most of a tiny summary going forward.

Victor is a wonderful wedding date. He helps with all the last minute set up in the days leading up to the wedding and offers to sleep on the floor when it becomes clear that there aren’t enough rooms to go around with all of Mari and Minako’s guests. 

Yuuri doesn’t make him sleep on the floor. 

When it’s time to go home he does his best not to be too weepy or clingy, but breaks his resolve when he doesn’t want to let go so he can board the plane. They quickly decide that they need to be living in the same country. 

Yuuri’s coach doesn’t want to relocate to Russia, though, and Yakov isn’t going to uproot his team to move to Japan. Victor offers to coach Yuuri himself, and is only slightly offended when Yuuri laughs in his face. 

So they do one more season in their own countries. Yuuri flies through his qualifiers and the competition has never been fiercer. When he competes against anyone other than Victor he’s almost always at the top of the podium, though Yuri knocks him off a time or two. Victor clings to his gold medal reputation for the entire season, though there are some very near misses. 

They spend hours on the phone, on the computer, on planes, but it’s all worth it. 

Yuuri proposes on Victor’s birthday and Victor announces to the whole party he won’t marry until he wins a gold medal against him. Otabek offers to hold him down while Yura beats him up. Yuuri points out this means that Victor can’t retire yet. 

Yuuri ends up moving in with Victor in Russia, but trains at a different rink. Yakov lets him come practice in his freetime with the Russian team, though. 

Yuuri calls Mari at least once a week and they visit a few times a year. They even come to some of Yuuri’s competitions together. 

Makkachin gets long walks almost everyday, and Victor insists on posting photos of it on his Instagram with corny captions, tagging Yuuri. 

Life is good.

Fin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You're all amazing and wonderful, I'm hoping to get through all of the comments in the next couple of days not that the fic is finished ^_^ 
> 
> I've made this a part of a "series" but that's just so I can link it to another fic that will just be little things that we didn't get to see on page in the main story and little vignettes about their lives together. You don't have to read them, this is very much a complete story all on it's own! 
> 
> Again, thank you all for letting me write here in this fandom for my NaNo project, and for being such amazing readers. You were all so amazingly kind!


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